


Take a chance on dance (every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end)

by trinipedia



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Big Bang Challenge, Challenge Response, Fanfiction, M/M, RPF BigBang J2AU, Slash, Supernatural and J2 Big Bang Challenge 2009, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-31
Updated: 2009-10-31
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:31:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9223211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinipedia/pseuds/trinipedia
Summary: Jensen "Jen" Ackles - a simple, clean hearted, honest office worker, leading a humdrum life, meets his total opposite and finds love in the flamboyant, fun-loving, vivacious Jared "Jay" Padalecki for whom the whole world is a dance stage, until unforeseen circumstances changes it all and brings them together. Their marriage struggles to work without any real feelings, then comes a reality dance show: due to a series of coincidences, Jensen ends up paired with Jared on the show and decides to stay in order to try and woo Jared off his feet. All the way through the dance competition, Jared starts slowly to fall in love with mysterious mechanic Dean Winchester, without once realising that the man he is dancing with is, in fact, his husband.





	1. PROLOGUE - It's an ocean of fire, you have to drown to swim across

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to thank all of my proofreaders, without them there won't be any fic at all. In this case more than ever before. Written for the [**rpf_big_bang challenge**](http://rpf-big-bang.livejournal.com/).
> 
>  **Artists Name:** [](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/profile)[ lightthesparks ](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/) who rocks my socks, owns my soul and is made of glittery sparkling WIN. She saved my life, for this challenge. Bow to her.  
>   
>  **Beta:** [](http://blueeyedliz.livejournal.com/profile)[ blueeyedliz ](http://blueeyedliz.livejournal.com/) and [](http://free-pirate.livejournal.com/profile)[ free_pirate ](http://free-pirate.livejournal.com/), who stepped in to ensure the job was done on time when bitchy RL prevented Liz from being able to finish. She' still the best beta in the world, anyway.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Not mine in any way, shape or form. Based on the movie "Rab ne bana di jodi", so if there's anything you think you recognize, I probably didn't write it.  
>   
> 

 

 

"Jensen!"  
  
The young man turned to smile brightly at his old professor, the man who had been an inspiration to him since he was a teenager.  
  
Gerri walked up and engulfed him in a tight hug. "God, feels like we haven't seen each other in a lifetime," he said, chuckling.  
  
"Well, it has been ten years." Jensen answered.  
  
Gerri and Jensen met in 1996, when UBC asked Gerri to go give a lecture to the new students at the Chemical and Biological Engineering Department.  
  
Jensen was amongst them.  
  
Gerri's words, his work and dedication struck a chord deep inside Jensen, and after the lecture he asked for the chance of being his assistant in the project he was working on.  
  
Gerri told him that he would have loved that, but unfortunately he lived and worked in Warsaw.  
  
Jensen didn't let that discourage him and obtained a scholarship for academic merits that allowed him to move to Poland for almost two years.  
  
Once he was done with his studies, he didn't have the chance to meet Gerri again, but they kept in touch.  
  
Jensen sent him flowers and condolences when his wife died, and rejoiced when his only son obtained a gig as an acrobatic dancer.  
  
It was because of Gerri’s son that they had been given the chance of meeting up again:  
  
Jared was going to get married to his childhood friend, Chad, the son of the American Embassador in Poland, and they decided to celebrate the wedding in Canada, where Jensen lived.  
  
Gerri touched Jensen's arm to attract his attention. "That's my Jared. I can't believe he's getting married tomorrow."  
  
Jensen followed the man's loving gaze and was struck on the spot.  
  
The last time he had seen Jared, the boy was a gangly 15-years-old, with arms and legs too long and uncoordinated to be used properly and a mouth too big for his face.  
  
The big mouth had stayed in place, but everything else had grown to accomodate it.  
  
Jared was now a tall guy, with a wide back and strong appearance.  
  
His eyes were sparkling and warm, as he moved swiftly to show a couple of kids in the street a few dance moves.  
  
"Jared! Come here for a second," Gerri called.  
  
The guy bounced up to where they were, looking at his father expectantly. "Jay, this is Jensen Ackles, my favourite student. I used to tell you about him, remember?" Gerri said by way of introduction.  
  
Jared's eyes widened in recognizement, as did his smile, and he held Jensen in a close replica of his father's hug. "Jensen!" He exclaimed. "God, last time we met you were a pimply teenager...and look at you now!" Jensen blushed, shifting on his feet uncomfortably. "You have no idea of all the trouble you gave me," Jared added, wriggling his eyebrows jokingly. "Throughout school and college, I've only heard one thing: _why don't you get marks like Jensen? Why don't you respect your teachers as Jensen used to? Jensen this, Jensen that_...you've been the nightmare of my teenage life. I even think that the reason why he took my confession about being gay so well was because he hoped I'd end up marrying you."  
  
Gerri chuckled, while Jensen blushed more. “Dad, don't laugh at me! Isn't it true?" Jared protested. "How many times did you tell me how lucky Jensen's boyfriend was going to be? He loves you more than he loves me, that's the truth."  
  
Gerri hugged his kid, while Jared kept babbling and rambling, and Jensen felt an unknown pang of something in his stomach. He wasn't able to identify it, though, so he ignored it: _plane food_ , he said to himself.  
  
Later on, as he was laying in his bed, he recalled the events of the day, and fell asleep with Jared's beaming smile on his mind.

 

  
The morning of the wedding, Jensen got up uncharacteristically early, even for him. He was already in the hall for breakfast when it all happened: a woman came running in the room, screaming for the receptionist to call an ambulance immediately.  
  
Jensen grabbed the arm of one of the waiters and asked what was going on.  
  
"The car carrying the groom and his family has met with an accident," the man told him, "seems like no-one has escaped without injury. Mr. Padalecki had a heart attack."  
Jensen had to lean on the table, because all the air had left his lungs.  
  
Not Gerri.  
  
Not the man he has always considered a father.  
  
And Jared, what happened to Jared? He had gone to fetch them at the airport! He was in the car too!  
  
Jensen took a deep breath and then started moving.

 

  
Once Jensen got to the hospital, he found out that Jared had been badly hurt in the accident but his life wasn't in danger, apparently.  
  
While he was sitting in a plastic chair in the waiting lounge, Jensen couldn't help but pray as fervently as he could for things to be somehow alright, for Jared to find happiness, for Gerri to recover, for himself-he couldn't wish anything for himself, he knew he was quite lucky as it was.  
  
A doctor came out of Gerri's room and Jensen stood up immediately. "Is there a Jensen, here?" He asked. Jensen got closer. "We did our best, but the attack has been massive and I honestly don't think he'll make it through the night," the doctor explained with a grave expression. "He wants to see you now."  
  
Jensen nodded, and entered.  
  
His teacher's skin was so pale it was almost impossible to see where the white sheets of his bed ended and his face began.  
  
"Jared seems so strong, but he's actually quite fragile, Jensen," he started, his voice as low as a whisper. "I gave him all my love, and I know he loves me dearly, too. He's so young!" Gerri's eyes filled up with tears. "He will break under such circumstances: not only has he lost Chad, but he won't be able to dance again."  
  
Jensen's heart clenched at those words.  
  
He knew how much dancing meant to Jared; Gerri had told him time and time again about how it was the only thing Jared knew how to do, his dream, his life. He never even thought about doing something different, even since when he had been a kid.  
  
Jensen couldn't even start to understand what news like this, after discovering the man he wanted to share his life with was gone, could do to him.  
  
"I want to ask you a favor, Gerri said, and Jensen grabbed his hand.  
  
"Anything, Gerri, anything."  
  
The man smiled sadly. "Marry him."  
  
Jensen's mouth dropped open. "What?!"  
  
"Jensen, he doesn't have anyone else but me, in the world. If he goes back to Poland, the weight of what he has lost will crush him. He needs to start anew somewhere else, with someone he can trust. He needs to find a new meaning for his life." Gerry stared at his trembling hands. "You're the only person I'd ever ask for such a thing. Knowing that Jared is with you, I'll be able to die in peace." Jensen tried to object, but Gerri just shook his head. "I don't have time for other options, Jensen. Please. If you accept, I'll talk to Jared."  
  
Jensen felt the tears pooling in his eyes and turned away from Gerri's pleading face, not wanting the man to see them. "If he accepts, I will," he answered.

 

  
Jared was pushed into Gerri's room in a weelchair, both of his legs casted from thigh to foot. His eyes were empty and unresponsive but a sparkle of worrying ignited when he saw the condition his father was in.  
  
Gerri extended a hand towards him and Jared took it in his, holding onto his father for dear life. "I know this is not the right time to talk about this," he said, "but what can we do? Seems like God has called for me now."  
  
Jared whimpered. "No, please, no," he stuttered, hiding his face against his dad's shoulder.  
  
Gerri caressed his son's hair. "Jared, I have never forced you to do anything, and I'm not going to start today, but before leaving I have to be sure you won't be alone." Jared lifted his head, looking interrogatively at his father's face.  
"There's nothing left for you in Poland, you know that. You have to stay here."  
Gerri coughed, and had to drink a little water before he was able to continue.  
"Listen to me. In life we make some decisions, while some others are made by God and Fate. And that's why I hope you'll listen to my first and last selfish request."  
  
Jared got closer to him and his eyes got wider, as Gerri whispered in his ear, but once he was done talking Jared slowly nodded.  
  
Gerri rang the nurse and asked her to let Jensen in.  
  
The two guys' eyes met and for a second they searched for strength in the love they both felt for the extraordinary man who was dying on that hospital bed.  
  
Jensen sat on the other side of the bed, doing his best to smile at Gerri. The man grabbed both their hands and linked them together. He stared at their intertwined fingers before nodding serenely and closing his eyes for the last time.

 

  
_TBC..._


	2. 01 - Blossoming behind the curtains of make believe

 

  
  
Jensen got out the cab and retrieved the luggage from the trunk.  
  
The door on the other side of the cab opened and neverending legs, not casted anymore, appeared.  
  
Jared accepted the crutches Jensen offered him and slowly stood up, limping around the cab towards the entrance of Jensen's building.  
  
Jensen tried to grab his arm to help him with the few steps leading to the main door but Jared stepped back. "I can do it," he stated, dryly, starting to climb.  
  
Jensen sighed, paid the driver and picked up their bags.  
  
Their time together in the elevator was long and awkward, filled with an uncomforable silence.  
  
Only once they were in front of the door, Jensen remembered. "Wait!" He exclaimed, running in front of Jared, and opened the door slightly. "Be right back."  
  
He entered the apartment and closed the door behind him again.  
  
Immediately his dog came at the door, yapping and trying to jump in his lap. "Icarus, please, be good. We have a guest, and he's already jumpy enough: try not to make things worse, ok?"  
  
The dog seemed to understand and sat back, his tail waggling expectantly.  
  
Jensen nodded appreciatively at him, then started running around the apartment to pick up magazines, clothes and anything that was out of place, which appalled him to realize was a lot of stuff, especially in his bedroom.  
  
He grabbed everything and simply threw it all in the spare room, the one he had for guests and where no one entered since he had been living in the apartment.  
  
When he opened the door once more, he was panting. "I'm sorry,” he said, "didn't expect to come back with-you know."  
  
Jared looked over his shoulder but didn't say a word as he entered, his back stiff and tense.  
  
Jensen followed him to his bedroom with an empty cardboard box he used to put all his clothes as he took them out of the closet.  
  
Finally he grabbed one of the pillows on his bed and walked away; just before leaving the room, he turned towards Jared.  
  
"I've always preferred sleeping in the spare room," he told him, "has better-wifi reception. So, this room and the closet are all yours. Well," he quickly added, after a split second, "the whole house is yours, of course, what I meant was-yeah, ok." He shifted the box on his arms. "If you need anything, just holler: I'm a light sleeper, anyway."  
  
Jared slowly sat on the mattress and didn't answer, so Jensen just offered him a small smile and left.  
  
The room he was going to be sleeping in from that day onwards would need a lot of hard work if he wanted it to be liveable.  
  
Jensen left the box next to the door and took a look around: cobwebs on the ceiling, stuff he’d accumulated during the last two years and didn't even remember he had, dust everywhere.  
  
Jensen put a mask on his face and grabbed a mop.

 

  
_Fire._  
Loud noises.  
Intermittent blue lights.  
Voices asking him questions.  
**Blood.**  
Blood everywhere.  
Usually blond hair now stained and dirty.  
Empty blue eyes.  
  
"Chad!"  
  
Jared startled himself awake and for a second the terror of not knowing where he was got his heart in a chokehold.  
  
Then he remembered everything, the accident, the wedding, the three weeks of rehabilitation in hospital, the arrival at Jensen's house.  
  
He got his legs off the bed, staring at his battered knees, which were maybe never going to support his weight again, when he heard the light scratching at the door.  
  
He slowly reached for it and pulled it open: the smallest dog he had ever seen bounced inside the room, whining a little, as he had been able to feel his discomfort.  
  
"I'm alone," Jared whispered in the dark, and the dog jumped on the bed and licked his palm.  
  
Jared took him in his arms and, hiding his face in his soft white fur, he cried all his tears.

 

  
As usual, Jensen woke up early.  
  
While he quickly showered, he strained to hear any noise proving that Jared was already awake coming from the bedroom but with no luck.  
  
He wore his usual grey shirt and his old jeans, put on his glasses and took his bag with laptop and files; once he was ready, he walked up to Jared's room and softly knocked on the door.  
  
There was no answer.  
  
He was about to knock again, then decided against it, understanding how Jared was probably feeling distraught and needed some more time.  
  
He went straight to the kitchen and arranged some breakfast.  
  
Jensen wasn’t a good cook but his coffee wasn't half bad, so he toasted some bread, prepared a couple of cups and then tried knocking again, hoping the smell of freshly brewed coffee was going to be inviting enough for Jared to come out.  
  
The guy hadn't eat anything since the previous morning, after all, and that couldn't be good.  
  
Still, no answer from him.  
  
Jensen checked his watch: it was getting late, he had to get going.  
  
He gulped down coffee and toast, washed his dish and left something ready for Jared to eat if he became hungry later on, together with a note where his phone number was written down, in case Jared needed to contact him for anything.  
  
He even put a single rose he had taken from the vase in the living room next to the note but then mentally kicked himself and went to remove it, before rushing out, bringing along the pang in his stomach he had gotten used to during the last few weeks.

 

  
"I'm sorry, ma'am. There was a delay in the meter delivery. It's alright now: I've checked the inventory myself. Within 48 hours the electricity will be installed without fail. Definitely. Thank you, ma'am, and remember that here at Vancouver Power we're at your service, lighting up your life."  
  
Jensen hung up the phone and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
He had never really liked his job and with everything that was going on in his life he couldn't properly concentrate on trivial tasks like calming down angry customers.  
  
Jared's cold gaze popped into his mind and he groaned, hiding his face in his arms.  
  
"Hey, Jen!" His colleague, Mike, called him from the cubicle next to his.  
  
Jensen acknowledged him with a small nod.  
  
"So? Don't you have anything to tell me?" Mike prodded.  
  
Jensen blinked. "No, nothing."  
  
"Come on, Jensen, you haven't come to the office for more than _three weeks_!" His other colleague, Tom, pointed out. "Do you really expect us to believe there's nothing going on? You’ve never called in sick _once_ , since you've started working here."  
  
"I mean it guys, everything's fine."  
  
"Is it? Because when I dropped by at your house to see if you were ok, your neighbour told me you were attending a _wedding,_ " a petite blond added.  
  
Mike and Tom turned abruptly towards him. "A _wedding_?!" They asked at the same time.  
  
"Yeah, but-it's not-I mean-" Jensen stuttered, and his colleagues’ smiles turned feral.  
  
"Jensen, you sly dog! You got _married_ without telling _us_?!" Mike squealed, excited.  
  
Jensen turned a horrified gaze around the office, where everyone was standing up and walking towards him to congratulate him.  
  
He was screwed.  
  
While people he never even spoke to gathered and shook his hand, Jensen knew it was just a matter of time before someone said-  
"Hey Jen, when can we meet your better half?"  
- _that_.

 

  
Jared was dozing off in his room, distractly petting the dog in his lap, when someone started to furiously punch the apartment's door.  
  
Punch _and_ kick apparently.  
  
"Jensen Ackles, you disgusting son of a bitch! Why are you hiding inside?! Come out and face me!" The guy kept abusing the door, his purple face distorted in fury and his eyes hidden behind huge sunglasses. "Are you too ashamed to be face to face with Chris Kane?!" He shouted. "Open this goddamn door! Is not like I want to see your face, but I have to tell you that I won't give a flying fuck about you anymore, you hear me?! We're not friends, maybe we never were, and I want you _out_ of my life starting _now_!" He tore at his long hair, while growling a few more insults. "I don't need a friend like you! Who's the person who did everything for you? _With_ you?! And I have to hear about your marriage from that snoopy old hag of your neighbour!" The man sniffled. "Is this the value you give me in your life?! Huh?!"  
  
When no answer came from inside the apartment (Jared was paralyzed by fear and even locked his bedroom door) the man lost it. "I know you're inside! You left your office an hour ago! I know everything, Jensen! You are a-"  
  
"Chris?"  
  
The guy turned around abruptly and was faced with Jensen, who was carrying a lot of plastic bags, his eyebrow arched in question.  
  
Without missing a beat, the guy covered the distance between them in a couple of long strides and as soon as he was in front of Jensen he narrowed his eyes and glared at him.  
  
Jensen blinked and stepped back. "Hey, Chris, what-"  
  
"Chris is _dead_ to you, man." The guy spit.  
  
Jensen offered him a small smile. " _You can't die while I'm alive_. Wasn't that our promise?" Chris huffed and turned his back on Jensen. Jensen nudged him. "Come in, I'll explain everything to you."  
  
The guy didn't looked appeased, but he still followed Jensen inside.

 

  
Chris’ mouth fell open and he slowly took off his sunglasses, while his eyes grew suspiciously shiny. "So...where is he?"  
  
Jensen sighed. "In my bedroom, I guess. The bedroom that’s now his. He still hasn't come out. I mean, he doesn't want to be around me and I get it. I was forced on him by his dying father, it's understandable if he can't bear to see me, right?"  
  
Chris shook his head. "And you're sleeping _here_ instead of in your own bed? Shouldn't he be the one who sleeps in the guest room?! This is _your_ house, man!"  
  
Jensen stood up. "Don't you ever say that again. This house is his as much as mine. He needs time, and I'm not going to pressure him. He's strong, I know he will overcome it. Eventually."  
  
Chris looked at his childhood friend and grasped his shoulder, trying to comfort him a little. "Now what?" he asked.  
  
Jensen shrugged. "Whatever God decides."  
  
Just then, the doorbell rang. "Here they are, the Vancouver Power caretakers: always late to work, but always on time for free alcohol and free food," Jensen said, trying to lighten up the mood. "Can you let them in and show them to the terrace? I'll go check on Jared first."  
  
Chris didn't move, so Jensen moved closer and hugged him. "Don't worry, it'll all be ok. You'll see."  
  
Chris nodded, trying to put on a game face.  
  
It wasn’t the right moment to be emo.  
  
Jensen waited for the guests to be diverted away from the bedroom before he went once again to knock on Jared's door. "Jared? It's me, Jensen." He cleared his throat before going on. "Listen, some friends from the office have come to visit: they found out about the wedding and invited themselves over. I-I tried my best to dissuade them, but you know how these people are..." Jensen blushed a little. "I have a small request: if you could come and meet everyone for just two minutes, they would-" He stopped talking.  
  
It was obvious that Jared had no intention whatsoever of acknowledging him in any way. He felt embarrassed at himself for standing there, talking to the door, so he stepped back. "I get it, Jared, it's ok. You don't like-tension. I'll tell them that you're not feeling well, you just rest. Sorry for bothering you with stupid demands, it won't happen again."  
  
Jensen swallowed noisily and walked away, his shoulder sagging like the weight of the whole world rested on them. Inside the room, Jared had his knees pushed against his chest, while his cheek rested on them and a few tears ran down his cheeks. He listened to Jensen steps as he left and Icarus yelped.  
  
There was so much emptiness and coldness in the apartment that Jared didn't know how much more he was going to be able to take before breaking once and for all.  
In fact, he was amazed at how he was still holding together despite everything, and couldn't help asking himself how it was possible.

 

  
"Well, Ackles, where's this boy wonder of yours?" Mike asked.  
  
The guests had been there for a few hours now, and they were starting to get impatient.  
  
"We're eager to meet him!" Tom added, and a few other colleagues nodded in agreement.  
  
Jensen felt embarrassed as a few times before.  
  
"He must be hiding him somewhere."  
  
"It's not that! Just-he's not feeling well after the journey, and-"  
  
The blond girl from the office tapped his shoulder. "Jensen, we're leaving. It's getting late."  
  
Jensen tried to smile at her. "I'm sorry, Katie, you'll get to meet him next time," he said.  
  
"No big deal," the girl said, shrugging, but in her eyes Jensen could see that it _was_ a big deal.  
  
"He-he was very keen on meeting you all, but-" the words died in his throat because there, in front of the terrace door, stood Jared.  
  
He was wearing an orange shirt half open, which left the wifebeater he had on visible underneath it. His jeans were low on his narrowed hips and his hair fell floppily on his shoulders.  
  
Jared smiled at him, a smile which had nothing like the one Jensen had seen on his face the night before his wedding but Jared was making an effort and Jensen felt his stomach clenching with renewed strength.  
  
Jared had a tray in his arms where he had arranged a few beers and a bowl of chips.  
  
He started to slowly walk around, introducing himself politely and offering the drinks to Jensen's friends, and the pang Jensen had grown used to became a roar in his ears.  
  
Jared charmed them all, including Chris, who seemed unable to look away from him for the rest of the evening.

 

  
Jensen was already wearing his pyjamas (consisting in a pair of old sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt) when a soft knocking came on his door.  
  
"Come in," he answered, and of course there was Jared on the other side, his head hanging down.  
  
"May I-talk to you for a second?" He asked.  
  
"Sure," Jensen answered, sitting on his bed.  
  
Jared entered and sat too, as far as he could from Jensen. "Listen, Jensen." Jared started, his voice small and tense. "I'm sorry for how I’ve behaved lately." Jensen started shaking his head but Jared lifted a hand to stop him from talking. "Marrying you was _my_ choice, I have no right to take my anger against God on you." Jared sighed, clasping his hands in his lap. "I promise you that from now on I'll be a better husband for you. If I can't go out, I'll start doing things at home. And I'll try to share your days with you. Just-just be a bit patient with me, ok?"  
  
Jensen arched an eyebrow in question. Jared smiled sadly. "I have to kill the old Jared I've always been and become a new Jared, and that might take some time."  
  
Jensen leaned forward, wanting to hold Jared's hand to comfort him, to make him feel he was not alone, but Jared flinched and Jensen stopped abruptly. "There's one more thing I need to tell you," Jared said, and Jensen forced his eyes up to meet Jared's. "I won't be able to love you, Jensen. In _any_ way." Jensen blinked, surprised, and Jared shook his head. "I don't have anymore love in me to give to someone," he explained, looking down at his trembling hands.  
"I don't know if you can live your life without love...if you can't, maybe we should-"  
  
This time Jensen didn't stop when Jared tried to move back, and held his wrist lightly. "I don't know what love is, Jared. I've never fallen in love with anyone." He pulled gently at Jared's wrist, and when Jared looked at him, Jensen smiled. "What you did tonight, the way you helped maintain my dignity in front of my friends, that’s love for me. I am not used to nor do I require more love than that."  
  
Jared's eyes filled with tears, but he smiled back. "You're very lucky that you have never been in love, Jensen." He answered. "There is nothing more painful in this world than love: it makes your stomach clench and your defenses fall, and when you notice it's too late to stop it." Jared breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, then slowly stood back. When his wrist broke free, Jensen could still feel his fingertips tingling. "Good night, then," Jared whispered. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Jensen just nodded, because he didn't trust his voice, and didn't move until the door was closed behind Jared's back.  
  
Only then he groaned and hid his face in his hands.  
  
_Now I know why I've been in pain for the past three weeks_ he thought.  
  
_I fell in love the first moment I laid my eyes on him._

 

 

_TBC..._


	3. 02 - My renegade heart is a tramp with two left feet

 

When Jensen's alarm went off he was already awake, with his eyes open wide in the deep darkness of the room.  
  
In fact, he had barely slept at all.  
  
In his mind he’d kept playing the conversation he had with Jared the previous night, unable to stop thinking about the shocking revelation that came with it together with the crushing of any hope he could have harboured of somehow conquering his accidental husband's heart.  
  
He stood up and, as usual, he listened outside of Jared's room on his way to the shower: no sound came from the room, so he guessed Jared was still asleep.  
  
Once he was dressed and ready to go to work, he was tempted to try knocking on Jared's door again, to see if he wanted to join him for breakfast, but his courage disappeared when his hand was about to connect with the bedroom door.  
  
He sighed, cursing his own cowardice, and stepped into the kitchen where he froze on the spot: Jared was there, his hair still wet, a little smile on his flushed face. "Good morning," he said, approaching the table with a plate filled with eggs and bacon.  
  
Jensen's mouth dropped open and he still hadn't moved from the doorway, when Jared scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I-yesterday I saw that you only left me toasted bread as breakfast, so I thought that I could maybe prepare you something better?" His smile turned sheepish. "I'm used to cooking for my dad, he-forgot to eat when he was too involved in his project."  
  
Jensen snapped out of his reverie and sat down at the kitchen table across from Jared. The first bite was like waking up after a whole life sleep.  
  


  
When Jensen jumped on his beloved motorbike he was shocked to find a small yellow thermos waiting for him on the back seat.  
  
"Soup for your lunch," Jared explained, from the door. "Have a nice day."  
  
Jensen's eyes widened and he beamed at Jared, while he rode off towards his office.  
  
If the wetness in his eyes was due to the wind slapping his face or to the warm happiness blooming in his chest, it was not something he was about to dwell on.

 

  
"So, he had an accident, huh?"  
  
Jensen turned towards Mike, surprised by how close he sounded: he had been so occupied staring at the thermos that he hadn’t heard him approaching.  
  
"Yeah, he did. He's better now, though, in a couple of weeks he will be able to start walking without crutches again."  
  
Mike nodded. "What are you planning to do with your motorcycle?"  
  
Jensen blinked. "What do you mean?"  
  
Mike rolled his eyes. "He can't ride with you, twit! You'll have to buy a car."  
  
Jensen feels stupid for not having thought about that. "Of course! You're right," he exclaimed, grabbing the phone.  
  
" _Winchester's garage, this is Steve._ "  
  
"Hey, pal, it's Jensen. I have to ask you something."

 

  
A few days had passed by when finally Jared dared to ask. "Jensen, I was thinking."  
  
Jensen looked up from his plate, arching an eyebrow.   
  
Jared swallowed. "We had the party with your colleagues, but...what about your relatives? Your family? Are we going to go visit them? Are they going to come here? I mean, they will want to meet me, I suppose."  
  
Jensen's eyes turned sad. "I don't have a family,” he said, slowly. "They disowned me when I told them I was gay. I haven't spoke to my mom and dad since I left home after college. Gerri was the closest thing to a father, for me."  
  
Jared didn't know why he did it, but he extended his hand towards Jensen and squeezed his arm.  
  
Jensen smiled faintly at him.  
A heavy silence fell on the kitchen, and Jensen cleared his throat. "Listen, Jared, would you like to go to the movies?"  
  
Jared looked surprised and his gaze dropped on his legs, which were in a slightly better condition but still not ready to ride on Jensen's motorcycle. Jensen followed Jared's gaze and grinned. "Don't worry about a thing. Do you wanna go?"  
  
Jared nodded immediately. He couldn't stand being caged anymore.  
  
"Let's go, then" Jensen decided, standing up and collecting the dirty plates from the table.  
  
When they got in the underground carpark, Jared was shocked to see Jensen stopping in front of a common and anonymous looking car. "Where's your motorcycle?" He asked, confused.  
  
Jensen shrugged. "Different lifestyle, different transportation. Hop in."

 

  
The visits to the cinema became a ritual for Jared and Jensen: they went at least twice a week, to see song and dance films which appealed to Jared's fantasies about romance and his passion for dancing.   
  
As time passed and Jared's legs got better, he started to miss dancing like a severed limb.  
  
Jared had accepted the fact that he was never going to be able to breakdance or do any of the acrobatic stuff he knew by heart, but he also didn't know how to deal with it.  
  
Some part of him thought that the best way was to push it away, not dancing ever again, in any way, to avoid getting in the dark headspace of everything he had lost.  
  
There was also another part of him, though, that reminded himself that he could have done anything he wanted but he was never going to be able to completely root out his love for music and dancing.  
  
Jensen, when he decided to share it with Jared, unknowingly made the choice for him, showing him how keeping in touch with music was possible without hurting, and after a while Jared started to genuinely enjoy their nights out at movies or concerts.  
  
They fell into some kind of amicable routine, and everything was good until the Dancing Jodi crew arrived in town.

 

  
They were finishing dinner when Jared stood up and brought a flyer to Jensen.  
"What's this?" Jensen asked, turning it to read both sides.  
  
"It's a dance school," Jared explained, "they're a big company from New York, I checked them out already." He dropped the plates in the sink, before turning towards Jensen again. "My physiotherapist said I'm healing well, and the best thing I can do in order to get back on the road faster is to exercise without stressing too much."  
  
Jared sat back at the table and sighed. "He said that I should consider shifting over to pairs: it's just as demanding, but there's less emphasis on the jumps, and it's a lot less stressful on the legs." He looked straight into Jensen's eyes, and for the first time Jensen could see a sparkle of the old Jared surfacing. "Look, Jensen, I won't let my dreams die that easily. I owe it to my father and all the faith he placed in me. Besides," he blushed slightly "I get bored at home the whole day, especially now that I can move better." Jared stood up. "But if you're not ok with it, I won't do it. After all I'm depending on you for now, so."  
  
Jensen nodded and stood up as well, leaving the kitchen without saying a word.  
Jared sighed and shook his head: he should have expected it, the classes were very expensive, and after all Jensen had done for him he was still asking more.  
He busied himself cleaning the kitchen, then turned off the light and went to bed: on his pillow, together with the flyer, there was the money to pay for both the enrolement fee and the first class.  
  
Without even thinking about it, he ran to Jensen's room and entered without bothering to knock.  
  
Jensen was shirtless, about to put on the t-shirt he slept in, and turned around abruptly , only to be trampled by a armful of rejoycing Jared. "Thank you, man," he muttered against Jensen's neck, "thank you."  
  
Maybe Jensen couldn't understand how much that meant to Jared, how big of a step towards a new life that would be, but Jared wanted him to feel his gratitude.  
When Jensen chuckled, awkwardly reciprocating the hug, though, Jared knew Jensen _did_ understand.  
  
And for a moment, he hated his life a little less.

 

  
"Chris, my friend, I have something to tell you. But if I do, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone."  
  
Chris stared at Jensen, standing at the door of his hair salon a little after closing time. "Never till I die, Jen, never," he answered, letting him in.  
  
Jensen sat on one of the salon's chairs, in front of the mirror, and as he usually did he closed his eyes in order to avoid looking at his geeky self: the light brown hair all back, held in place by tons of gel, the glasses with very thick lens which made his eyes look small and a little on the squinty side, the thick moustache.  
  
In the beginning he simply tried to look somewhere else but his pristine shirts and the elastic suspenders didn't do anything to improve his self esteem, just as the dress pants or his polished shoes.  
  
Jensen sighed. "I’ve fallen in love," he breathed out, so softly that Chris wouldn't have heard him if it hadn't been just the two of them standing in the quiet room.  
  
"Oh my God, Jensen! Finally! I'm so happy for you!" He exclaimed, walking up to him and clasping his shoulder. "But who with?" He asked after a moment.  
  
Jensen fidgeted. "With my-husband." He stuttered.  
  
Chris squeed and engulfed him in a bear hug. "That's _awesome_!" He was thrilled by the revelation, but something on Jensen's face killed his joy. "What's wrong, Jen? Isn't it perfect?"  
  
Jensen smiled sadly. "He doesn't love me back, Chris," he explained, swallowing a few tears.  
  
"What? How can he not? He's your _husband_! Two slaps and he'll be loving you crazily," he added, jokingly.  
  
Jensen narrowed his eyes. "Don't you dare saying something like that!" He hissed. "The day I raise a hand to him, you're allowed to cut it away."  
  
He was almost trembling with fury at the mere thought someone could hurt Jared.  
Chris looked at his best friend, his eyes filling with wonder as he realized how deep Jensen's feelings were. "You really love him, don't you?" he stated, not really questioning it.  
  
Jensen nodded nonetheless. "But he says he won't be able to love me. He wants to change himself, to kill who he used to be, but I love him just the way he is! The happy, fun spirited Jared, who showed dimples every time he smiled. The one I fell in love with from the first instant I got my eyes on him." Jensen hid his face in his hands. "I don't want him to change, I just want him to fall in love with me."  
  
Chris clapped his hands so hard Jensen jumped in his seat. "Maybe it's not him who has to change, then," he said, sitting next to him. "Maybe it's you."  
  
Jensen's confused expression cleared up as realization dawned on him.  
  
If he wanted to conquer Jared's heart, he had to become the kind of hero he loved to watch in movies: only then would he be able to hold Jared in his arms.   
He turned towards Chris, his eyes sparkling with hope and fear. "Do some magic like you know how, Chris, and make my love story," he pleaded.  
  
Chris stood up, nodding vigorously. "Watch me," he said, "perhaps I opened this salon especially for this day."

 

  
Jensen looked at himself in the mirror.   
  
A thick green mixture covered all of his face and a few aluminum papers were scattered all over his head. "Chris, are you really sure he won't be able to recognize me?" He asked, doubtfully.  
  
Chris snorted. "Jen, if he recognizes you I'll close down the salon and go back to Texas."  
  
Jensen chuckled. He knew how much Chris hated his hometown: his family didn't react any better to the news that Chris was gay than Jensen's and he came from a smaller city where things were even more complicated. He patted Chris' arm. "I was thinking: Jared has joined a dance class, and I really want to watch him dance again, so maybe I can go there first, watch him dance and then go home and surprise him."  
  
Chris nudged his shoulder. "Sounds like a plan to me," he answered, turning his razor on.  
  
Jensen jumped back. "What are you doing?!" he squeaked. "I don't want you to cut off my moustache!"   
  
He covered it with both of his hands.  
  
"Don't be a sissy," Chris huffed, "how can you conquer him with that scrubbing brush under your nose?"  
  
Seeing that Jensen was still not convinced, Chris decided to go for the kill.  
"It makes your nose look bigger."  
  
Jensen's eyes widened. "Oh, no! Really?!" He worriedly studied his image in the mirror, divided by the prospects of keeping something which has been a part of him since his puberty and trusting his best friend to know what was best for him.  
  
The trust won, in the end, and he took his hands away, sighing.  
  
"Good boy," Chris praised him, before trimming the moustache away.  
  
"But-will Jared like the new me?" Jensen couldn't help himself wondering.  
  
Chris smiled slyly. "He'll come dancing into your arms and softly whisper in your ear," he answered.  
  
"Asshole" Jensen muttered, with no real edge to it, and the word got lost in Chris' boisterous laughter.

 

  
Alona was fussing with the inscription forms and the new computer which had just been installed, and wouldn't have probably noticed the guy entering the gym if the entrance door hadn't been provided with an annoying little bell which loudly announced every new guest.  
  
Once she started looking, though, she couldn't stop.  
  
Big combat boots, the tightest pair of jeans she had ever seen - she even briefly wondered if they were real jeans or if the guy was one of those freaky artists who paint stuff on their bodies - a belt with a heavy metal buckle - _is that a scorpion?!_ \- a checkered shirt, open enough to show the white wifebeater underneath and _oh my God_ a well worn leather jacket.  
  
A pair of dark sunglasses hid the guy's eyes from view, but his pouty lips and the freckles splattered all over his nose and cheeks made up for it.  
  
Short blond hair and a self confident smirk completed the picture and Alona actually checked her chin to be sure she wasn't drooling all over her desk.  
  
The guy, who was maybe heaven sent or something, toyed with the amulet he wore around his neck, swallowing audibly, and Alona lost herself in the movement of his adam's apple.  
  
Then, in a surprising movement completely out of the cool image he seemed to project, he adjusted the back of his jeans, as if his underwear got stuck in between his ass cheeks and were making him uncomfortable, and stumbled back a couple of steps.  
  
Alona couldn't help snorting at the view, and as she grabbed her folder before walking towards him she thought that maybe the guy _was_ a human being after all, even if he was a whole lot prettier than any other guy she had ever had the chance to meet. 

 

  
Jensen tried to be as stealthy as possible once he got inside the gym.  
  
Jared didn't have to see him: even if Chris assured him his husband was not going to recognize him, Jensen still had his doubts.  
  
It wasn't like a haircut and some highlights were going to change his appearance all that much, right?  
  
He tiptoed along the wall at the side of the room until he finally saw Jared.  
  
Amongst all the other dancers, he stood out, not only because he was one of the tallest guys in the group but also because his movements were fluid and his smile was so bright Jensen was tempted to shield his eyes before he remembered he was wearing sunglasses and that it was a smile, dammit, not a supernova.  
  
Jensen's expression turn soft as he stared at Jared's steps and at the happiness that seemed to irradiate from his body, the love in his heart burning more fiercely with every passing second.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
Jensen squealed and jumped away from the woman smiling at him.  
  
"What are you waiting for? Come on!" She urged him, grabbing his arm.  
  
Jensen started shaking his head furiously. "No, you see, I don't-"  
  
"Don't worry, it's ok" she said, waving her hand dismissively while pulling him towards the rest of the group.  
Once she found a spot amidst the crowd, she stepped next to him and showed him the simple routine the others were following.  
  
"One and two and three and four," she explained, moving her arms swiftly, "five six seven and-eight. Just follow them!" She finished, pointing at the dancer around them.  
  
Jensen could just nodded, defeated, and try to keep the rhythm without stepping on the foot of the guy writhing next to him like a tarantula just bit him.

 

  
"Wow, that was fantastic! We didn't expect Canadians to be so amazing!"  
  
The trainers clapped profusely at the dancers, who rejoyced at the praise.  
  
Jensen didn't even listen to them, as they went on babbling: he was too busy staring at Jared with dreamy eyes, which is why he was surprised when one of the trainers gave him a green sticker with the nuber 21 on it.  
  
He blinked, confused, not really sure about what he was supposed to do with it.  
Looking around, he noticed everyone was moving, so he started doing the same, completely lost as for why he was doing it in the first place, until a well known little hand grabbed his arm once more.  
  
"What are you doing?" She huffed. "Go back in there!"  
  
Only then did Jensen realize he had been swaying towards the exit.  
  
He blushed, too ashamed to admit he didn't have a clue on what was going on.  
  
The girl rolled her eyes and snatched the number away. "Twenty-one!" she shouted in the crowd, "where's number 21?"  
  
"Listen, this is a misunderstanding," he tried to explain. "I can't dance, I-"  
  
She didn't even listen to him, and kept calling for his number.  
  
Then suddenly Jensen saw a big hand sticking out, holding the same number he had but this time it was on a red sticker, and as soon as the person in front of him moved, Jensen recognized who the hand belonged to: even without knowing what the numbers were for, he sensed it was going to be bad.  
  
 _Fuck._

  


  
"Now, we're going to divide you into two groups, Green and Red. Each person from group Red will be paired with the person in group Green who has the same number. Because after all, the real fun lies in dancing in pairs."  
  
Jared almost bounced, filled with excitement: he couldn't wait to begin.  
As soon as the trainer said they were allowed to find their partners, Jared started wandering around the room, looking for the person with the same number he had.  
  
After a few minutes with no result, he decided to take advantage of his height, and simply stood still lifting his arms as much as possible, his hands holding his red stickers for everyone to see.  
  
When the feminine voice of Alona called his number out, he smiled, relieved, and walked to her.

  


  
Jensen's first instinct was to run away without turning back, _ever_ , but then he heard Chris' voice in his head.  
  
 _Oh, no, Jen, no escaping now. You're not Jensen Ackles the office worker anymore: you are Jared's hero! Start acting like one. You will sing, you will dance and you will sweep him off his feet._  
  
Jensen nodded to himself, straightened up and started strutting across the room towards Jared, feigning a confidence he most definitely didn't have.  
  
Suddenly, he was standing in front of Jared, _his_ Jared, who was offering him a shy smile that had no business being so adorable. "Hi, I'm Jared," he said, nodding slightly.  
  
Jensen passed a hand through his hair and flashed a grin at him. "And I'm your hero," he answered.  
  
Jared arched an eyebrow.  
  
"I-I mean," Jensen stuttered, lifting the number upside down and then turning it, "twenty-one!" He pointed at it.  
  
Jared blinked. "Yeah, I know. What's your name?" He asked, slowly, he probably thought that maybe Jensen was foreign.  
  
Or stupid.  
  
"Er," Jensen's eyes shifted around, desperately looking for an idea, "er..."  
  
Then the last movie they went to see came to mind.  
  
It was about two brothers travelling the country to fight evil supernatural things.  
  
The coolest of them, the one Jared seemed enthranced by, was called-  
  
"Dean," Jensen said, suddenly shifting into the character trying to remember how he acted. "Dean Winchester," he added, throwing the number away, "you must have heard of me."  
  
He smirked slyly at Jared, who looked at the arch the sticker followed as it fell on the floor before looking back at Jensen-no, _Dean_.  
  
"Actually, I haven't." Jared said, and Dean snorted.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it," he retaliated, nudging Jared's shoulder. "You'll keep hearing it from now on."  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye." He stepped back and moved towards the exit, but Dean grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him.  
  
"Oh, no, Jared," he said, shaking his head, his mouth curved in a disbelieving smile. "I _never_ say goodbye." He snapped his fingers and spinned himself around. "Let's say instead something like... _we're traveling the love lane, down the road we'll meet again_."  
  
Dean wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, putting his hands on his hips, and Jared chuckled nervously. " _Sure,_ " he muttered, shaking his head as he walked away.  
  
"Dean, remember." Dean shouted after him and Jared waved a hand dismissively.  
  
As soon as he was gone, Jensen took his glasses off and breathed deeply. " _Down the road we'll meet again?!_ God, he must think I'm a retard or a psycho freak," he whined, his shoulders down, as he swaggered away, not without adjusting the back of his pants once more first.  
  
Alona looked at him and shook her head.  
  
The boy had _so_ much to learn.

 

  
_TBC..._


	4. 03 - These arms, these paths - a strange war within

 

  
Chris watched as his best friend put his working clothes back on and scratched at his neck, confused. "I just don't get it, man. You said you were going to watch Jared dance and then go home and surprise him, but now I'm here making a fake moustache and you're putting on your old clothes. What changed?"  
  
Jensen huffed, while he tried to reconstitute his original hairdo. "If I keep this up, I'll have the chance to dance with Jared every day; I can't waste such an opportunity." Chris shrugged, but Jensen walked up to him. "Do you think that he would ever dance with a geek like _Jensen_? I tell you, he wouldn't." Jensen sighed and put a hand on Chris' shoulder. "And even if he did, he wouldn't be the same Jared I saw today. This is my only chance to share his greatest passion with him."  
  
Chris shook his head. "I don't understand, Jensen, honestly."  
  
Jensen threw his hands in the air, exasperatedly. "Listen Chris, ok? Jensen reminds Jared of his tragedy, his sadness, everything he lost. He will never be the old Jared around me. But now," his eyes sparkled, "by being Dean I have the opportunity to spend some time with him without any of our baggage weighing on us." Jensen smiled. "Tell me, man. Out of so many people, what was the chances of him becoming my partner?" He pointed at the sky and nodded slowly. "It's because of fate, Chris, destiny. If God had wanted it so, Jared could have easily recognized me in a second, but he didn't." As he pushed his shirt inside his pants, Jensen's expression turned resolute. "Fate has started my love story. Now I just have to dance with Jared, get to know him better, make him laugh, give him heaps of happiness so that he forgets all of his pain and gets back to being his fun-loving self once and for all."  
  
Jensen knew that as Dean he was going to be able to tell Jared whatever there was in his heart: he didn't have anything to lose, while if as his husband he crossed the line Jared had traced that first night he was never going to be able to go back.  
  
If he broke Jared's fragile trust, he was probably not going to get a second go at it.  
  
A sudden loud noise snapped him out of his thoughts: Chris was blowing his nose.  
"There you go, making me all emotional again, damn you," he muttered, and Jensen chuckled, hiding how deeply moved he was because of the recent events.  
  
He took the moustache from Chris' hands and pasted it back under his nose.  
  
"And Jensen is back," they both said.

 

  
"One, two, three four-one, two, three, four..."  
  
Jared was sitting at the kitchen table, going through the routine once more as he waited for Jensen to get home, bursting on an energy he almost forgot he was able to feel.  
  
Just then Jensen entered from the door, desperately avoiding his gaze. "Sorry I'm late, I'll change and come to dinner. It smells heavenly."  
  
He retreated in his room so fast that Jared got up quickly and went to knock on his door, worried.  
  
"Is everything alright?" He asked when Jensen didn't open.  
  
"Yeah, peachy!" Jensen's voice answered from inside, "be right out!"  
  
Even once he did come back to the kitchen, though, he kept looking away.  
  
In the end he told Jared he sprained his neck and that was why he couldn't look straight at him.  
  
Jared shrugged and accepted his explanation without questioning.  
  
He had no right to pry, anyway.  
  
"From now on I'll be late every night," Jensen stated, suddenly, and Jared lifted his gaze from his plate, surprised. "Yeah, I mean, I'm doing overtime at the office," he explained, "since you're busy with your dance classes in the evening, and-I thought it's best I take on extra work, you know, to-save a little."  
  
Jared's eyes turned sad. "If the classes are too expensive, you don't have to-" he started, but Jensen interrupted him immediately.  
  
"No, no, it's not that! I just want to save in order to-travel next year. Your father always told me how much of a globetrotter you used to be."  
  
Jared sighed. " _Used to_ being the key part," he said.  
  
Jensen clenched his fists under the table. _I'll get that Jared back_ he said to himself _you just wait, babe. I won't let him die inside of you._

 

  
Jensen was about to go to bed when some pounding music began to play in Jared's room.  
  
It was the same song the trainers were using to teach the routine to the class: Jared was _practicing_.  
  
While the idea of Jared sweating and dancing crept into Jensen's mind, without even realizing it, his body started following Jared's voice calling the steps.  
"One, two, three, four! Five, six, seven, eight!"  
  
Jensen kept moving, remembering the steps the girl showed him at the gym and trying to imitate them, and everything went well until he stumbled and ended up falling sideways against his bedside table, sending the lamp on the floor.  
The sound of glass shattering was probably loud enough, because the music stopped abruptly and a soft knock came on the door.  
  
"I'm fine!" Jensen exclaimed, incredibly embarrassed and wanting nothing less than to see Jared while he was all flushed and too much _Dean_ for comfort.  
"I just tripped and broke the lamp, nothing to worry about, go to bed!"  
  
He realized he had probably been bossier than he had meant to be when he heard Jared's steps retreating back to his room without another word.  
  
He bumped his head against the wall until all he could hear was his blood rumbling in his ears, but Jared didn't come to check on him, this time.

 

  
Jared was warming up with a few stretching exercises when he saw Dean entering the gym.  
  
His mouth dropped open and his gaze shifted, looking for somewhere to hide in order for the other man not to see him.  
  
Dean was wearing a hideous pair of yellow jeans and an even more hideous yellow short sleeved shirt.  
  
Even his sunglasses were yellow, and a few yellow highlights shone through his hair under the neon light.  
  
He strutted towards Jared, his thumbs hooked into his belt loops and the same disturbing smirk he wore the previous day.  
  
"Hey, Jarepartner," Dean greeted him. "Down the love lane we meet again, don't we?" He added, nudging Jared with his elbow and winking at him. "Never fear, Dean is here!"  
  
Jared rolled his eyes then stared at Dean's outfit.  
  
Dean followed his gaze and his smirk widened. "This was the only colour left at the store," he explained, "but even if there had been any other I would still have chosen this one. You know why?"  
  
Jared shook his head, stunned into silence.  
  
Dean shrugged. "Because yesterday I saw you for the first time and you were wearing a yellow t-shirt. Hence, since yesterday, yellow's my new favourite colour."  
  
He shifted closer to Jared, licking his lips, but Jared straightened up and shoved Dean away. "Listen, you Casanova wannabe, I don't like the way you talk to me and I won't tolerate your flirting crap," he said, as dry as he could manage.  
  
Dean's eyes opened wide. "Flirting?" He repeated, sounding offended. "I would never do such a thing!" He took advantage of Jared's shock to shift closer again, and then whispered in his ear. "If I was flirting, I would tell you that you're the most stunning man I've ever seen, and that when I see you dance all sweaty, the way your hair swings left and right makes my heart skip a beat."  
He stepped back and offered Jared his most angelic smile. "But I didn't say anything like that, so-no flirting. Honest."  
  
He even lifted his hands in a peace sign.  
  
Jared glared at him. "I'm sorry, Dean, but I don't think that I'll be able to dance with you," he said, grabbing his bag and walking towards the reception.  
  
Dean took two quick steps and followed him. "No, no, I am the one who's sorry!" He exclaimed. "I am a loud mouth, and I'm unable to converse with decent men...I'm used to hookers and bartenders," he added as an afterthought, taking a relieved breath when Jared stopped walking. "One chance," he pleaded, "just give me one more chance."  
  
Jared crosses his arms on his chest and narrowed his eyes.  
  
Just as he was about to answer, the trainers called for the couples to scatter around the room ready to start.  
  
Jared sighed. "Last chance," he hissed, before walking back towards the dancefloor.  
  
Dean looked up and silently thanked whoever was there to listen.

 

  
Dean knew that he couldn't dance, but still he supposed those classes were for beginners.  
  
How hard could it be?  
  
_Very_.  
  
Completely unable to follow the routine been practiced around the room, Dean kept on stumbling on his feet, bumping into the other dancers, going in the wrong direction.  
  
"Dean, what are you doing? Come back here!" Jared hissed when he ended up in the next line.  
  
Dean went back next to Jared, who kept moving as fluidly and harmoniously as always, and felt deeply inadequate, out of place.  
  
All his chances of conquering Jared were strictly connected to his capacity of getting noticed; since doing it through dancing was obviously out of the question, he decided to bet all he had on something else.  
  
Instead of following the routine, he started moving in a way he reputed sensual, following the movements he saw more than once on TV.  
  
Jared's eyes widened, just to narrow immediately after: Dean lowered his head, feeling his cheeks burning with embarrassment.  
  
Of course, he sucked at that, too.  
  
He simply closed his eyes and tried to move as less as possible, hoping the lesson would finish soon.

 

  


  
When the lesson was over, outside it was raining heavily.  
  
Everyone ran towards their cars, but not Jared: he usually walked home, since he and Jensen only had one car and Jensen needed it to get to work.  
  
He didn't think of asking Jensen for cab money, after all the expenses he was already paying because of him.  
  
Jared was already resigned to waiting until the rain had stopped, when a red motorbike swerved right in front of him, missing him only by a few centimetres.  
  
"What the-" He started roaring, then the driver took off his helmet and there was Dean, with his annoying smirk and the equally annoying sunglasses he kept on even though it was night and dark already.  
  
"Jarepartner, never fear! Dean is here with his carriage, to take you home before the evil stepmother gets back from the ball." He slapped the motorbike and then pointed at himself. "Vancouver's best biker _and_ bike at your service," he proclaimed, taking his raincoat off his shoulders and offering it to him.  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, Dean, I'll manage," he cut him off, and started walking, but Dean grabbed his wrist.  
  
"Don't think too much. It's raining, you'll get wet: come on, I'll drop you home," he replied, his voice a little softer than usual making Jared's stomach turn in a strange way.  
  
"Thank you," Jared said, somehow unable to refuse, and as he got on the back of Dean's bike, trying to keep his legs as wide as they would go to avoid them hurt like a bitch later on, Dean returned to his usual, bothersome, cocky self.  
"Why are you thanking me! I'm the one who should thank you," he chuckled, turning the engine on and driving away from the school, all the time bitching about how the rain was going to spoil his hairstyle.

 

  
"You know, Jarepartner," Dean said, after Jared gave him the address and they had been riding silently for a while, "it's considered very lucky to get wet in the first summer rain: whatever you wish for comes true."  
  
Jared snorted. "So what did _you_ ask for?"  
  
Dean shrugged. "For the world's most stunning man to be seated on my backseat," he answered, "it was granted as soon as I made it."  
  
Jared smacked the back of his head. "Dean, you're flirting with me again! Stop this damn bike and I'll go on my own, dammit," he growled, but Dean simply laughed.  
  
"Fine, fine, sorry! Never again!" He exclaimed, accelerating a bit. "So," he asked after a bit, "what did _you_ wish for? I'm sure your heart wants something."  
  
"My heart doesn't want anything," Jared retaliated.  
  
Dean shook his head. "Nonsense! Every heart does!"  
  
Jared got mad. "Since you seem to know everything, why don't _you_ tell _me_ what my heart wants? Uh?"  
  
Dean lowered his head, and Jared was about to tell him to let it go, when suddenly he spoke. "Your heart wants to stop being in pain," he said.  
  
Jared didn't answer, neither did he hit Dean with one of his witty remarks.  
The way Dean had spoken hadn't been flirty like before: he sounded like he genuinely wanted to know.  
  
"Got you, didn't I?" Dean added "You're not saying anything because you know I'm right."  
  
Jared bit his lower lip and sagged in his seat. "Maybe," he eventually whispered, and saw Dean's back stiffen for a moment.  
  
Then it relaxed again, and the guy laughed once more. "Jared, try something: close your eyes and let every raindrop reach your heart."  
  
Jared stared at him surprised, but Dean's expression was totally serious, so he closed his eyes and as he was about to open his arms, the brakes screeched and the bike stopped. "This is your stop" Dean informed him.  
  
Jared blinked, a little dazed he quickly slide off the bike. "Thank you, Dean. Goodbye," he said, taking off the raincoat and giving it back to him, but Dean glared at him.  
  
"No goodbye, remember?"  
  
Jared sighed. "Yeah, yeah, we'll meet again," he muttered, and Dean shook his head.  
  
"Full version please," he drawled as he stretched his back, the movement making his awful yellow shirt roll up until his taut stomach was showing.  
  
Jared looked at the sky. He must have done something _really_ bad in one of his past lives to deserve Dean on top of everything else that had been happening to him.  
  
"Okay, you freak! We are traveling the love lane, down the road we'll meet again. Happy?!" he spat as Dean flashed him a blinding grin.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Dean said to himself, his expression softening up as he watched Jared hurrying inside the building "very happy."

 

  
As soon as Jared got dried off, he walked into the living room and opened the window.  
  
The downpour had turned into a storm, and he shivered a little.  
  
Then, a drop of rain fell on the tip of his nose and he chuckled, remembering Dean's words.  
  
He stepped on the windowsill, just enough for a little rain to fall on him, and he closed his eyes, deeply breathing in the smell of wet grass and electricity in the air.  
  
He just stayed there, hoping with all his might that Dean wasn't just playing with him and that somehow the rain was going to wash the pain away, at least a part of it.  
  
He wanted to keep on living; Chad would have never let him go on drowning in memories.  
  
Jared was quite sure his childhood friend would have probably rode his ass if he had seen him like that, and not in a pleasant way.  
  
A slow smile started to appear on Jared's face, but right then a noisy sneeze broke the spell.  
  
Jensen was back, and he was trembling, his clothes soaking wet. "Sorry I'm late," he muttered, blowing his nose. "I had some trouble with the car. I also had to change a tire in the rain, which is-" another sneeze got in the way, but Jared nodded, understanding that the tire was the reason why Jensen's clothes were wet.  
  
Jensen swayed towards his room, not before noticing the open window and the rain falling on the wooden floor. "Can you please shut the window?" He asked just before entering in his room, "the floor will get ruined."  
  
Jared nodded, his heart still reaching for the rain. A few more sneezes came from Jensen's room, so he sighed and went into the kitchen.  
  
A handful of minutes later, he was knocking on the door. No answer came, but he entered nonetheless. Jensen was laying on his bed, still dressed in his wet clothes, trembling. "Jensen,” he whispered. "I know you're tired, but you have to get changed or you'll catch a cold."  
  
Jensen muttered something but didn't move.  
  
Jared left the glass on the bedside table and proceeded to help him out of his shirt and then his pants. Jensen was almost dead weight, but he tried to help him.  
  
Once he was wearing his night clothes, Jared slowly dried his hair with a towel, and then took the glass over, pushing it into Jensen's hand. "It's warm milk with turmeric," he explained, "it works miracles. Drink it all up before it gets cold and tomorrow you'll be fine."  
Jensen turned his heavy lidded eyes on him. "Thanks, Jared."  
  
Jared felt the smile surfacing again. "You're welcome."

 

  
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!" The trainers chanted all in sync, while they showed the couples how to execute the kind of step they expected them to perform.  
  
Some of the dancers were already moving on from it, while others were still trying to figure out who's arm was supposed to go where.  
  
Dean and Jared belonged to the second group.  
  
Jared stepped forward just as Dean did the same, and their foreheads met with a loud _conk_.  
  
"Dean, what on Earth are you doing?!" Jared hissed, patting his head with his hand and feeling the bump already forming.  
  
Dean -who was wearing an even uglier pink shirt with orange sparkly applications- lifted both his hands in apology.  
  
"Chill, will you? It's ok!"  
  
Jared huffed, but stepped into position once more.  
  
They took it back from where they stopped, and they were supposed to move their arms on the back of each other's neck before grabbing each other's hand; however, Dean held onto Jared's ear, while Jared basically slapped Dean in the face when he flailed his arm in surprise.  
  
"Why are you sticking your finger in my nose?!" Dean sputtered, breaking free from the weird hold they were trying to execute. "Would you like it if I did the same?" he added, wriggling a finger menaciously in front of Jared's face.  
  
Jared stepped back.  
  
"Fine, I think I got it now. Five, six, seven, eight" Dean counted, and they tried it once more.  
  
When Jared tried to shift under Dean's arm, though, his hair got caught in Dean's bracelet and he got stuck.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow!" Jared moaned, as Dean tried to free his bracelet from Jared's dark locks. "Stop it, Dean, you're making it worse! Leave it!" Jared exclaimed, trying to undo the knot blindly with his hands.  
  
"Do you have a thing for my armpits, Jared?"  
  
Jared could _hear_ the smirk, and simply couldn't take it anymore.  
  
He yanked his head away, whimpering at the sudden pain, then he stood back, holding his head in his hands and glaring at Dean. "What do you think you're doing?!" Jared asked, but Dean simply crossed his arms on his chest.  
  
"You're the one who's getting overfamiliar with me, you know. I'm only doing what they're teaching."  
  
Jared threw his arms in the air, frustrated. "Give me your hand," He demanded, and here it was, the flirty grin.  
  
"You can take my hand, my nose and whatever you want, Jarepartner," Dean whispered, pulling him closer, but Jared took his hand away.  
  
"What's your problem, Dean? I can't handle you! I don't understand-"  
  
The music was suddenly cut, and Danneel, the head trainer, moved to stand at the front of the dances. "That was fantastic, everyone! Now listen up: from Monday we'll start the dance competition. Every couple will get points each week, and the top ten couples will compete in the finals."  
  
Sandy, another trainer, joined Danneel on stage and nodded. "Whoever wins, will be proclaimed the best dancing pair and will receive a surprise prize."  
  
The dancers started cheering and clapping.  
  
Dean bounced, whooping and generally making a fool of himself once more, as Jared looked away.  
  
"Who does she think she is, uh? JLo?" Dean said, chuckling. "She's right about one thing, though: I have a strong feeling from within that we will come first. What do you think?"  
  
He poked Jared's side until he stepped back and narrowed his eyes. "First?" Jared hissed " _first_?! Have you seen the way we dance, you moron?! We're not even good enough to come _last_." He threw one final glare in Dean’s direction and then stomped away.  
  
Dean slowly took off his sunglasses and watched his partner's hunched back, feeling his heart clench a little more with every step Jared took away from him.

 

 

_TBC..._


	5. 04 - Haste in love is a crime draped with stars

  
Jared was walking outside the school when a well known red bike almost ran over him. He jumped back, and of course it was Dean on the bike, sneering at him.  
  
"Gotcha!" He exclaimed, but Jared simply shook his head.  
  
"It isn't raining today, so I can go home on my own. Thanks anyway." He turned his back on Dean, but the guy stepped off the bike and stood in front of Jared.  
  
"No, that's not why I'm here," he said, lifting a hand. His eyes shifted a couple of times, before he cleared his throat. "Jared, I think-I think you should get another partner."  
  
Jared's eyes widened up in surprise.  
  
Dean smiled bitterly. "Listen, I know that my dancing is even worse than my talking, but you are the best." He lowered his head. "The way you move, the way the music seems to follow _you_ instead of the other way around. The smile you wear that shows how much you're enjoying it, the harmony of your movements..." Dean fidgeted. "Anyway, you could come first without any real effort. But if I am your partner, you will certainly lose, and I would never, ever forgive myself if i did that to you." He leaned towards Jared and took his hand, and this time Jared didn't flinch. "I told you your heart wants to stop suffering, yesterday." Dean whispered without looking at Jared. "I could never live with myself if it had to keep suffering because of me and my stupid pride."  
  
Jared's eyes filled with tears just when Dean dared to look back at him: once he realized he was saddening Jared, Dean let his hand go and hopped back on the bike. "So then it's agreed," he stated, "from Monday you'll get a new partner. Alright." He turned the engine on. "We are traveling the love lane, down the road we'll meet again!" He shouted, driving away and waving a hand into what looked most definitely like a goodbye.  
  
Jared stared at him until the bike disappeared, and only then he noticed his fists were clenching.

 

  
Jensen pushed his shirt back into his dress pants, then he handed the boots and the hanger with the clothes to Chris. "And with tonight the curtain falls on Dean," he said.  
  
Chris sighed, taking the items. "Think about it a little bit more, Jensen.” He answered. "I'm sure you can work this out."  
  
Jensen shook his head, while buttoning his shirt. "Oh, I have thought about it long enough, Chris. I can't bear to see Jared upset, especially if I know it's my fault. I've been selfish, and now it’s the time for my selfishness to be over." He lowered his head. "You didn't see him. You didn't see how disappointed his expression was when he heard about the competition and looked at me." Jensen shrugged. "It's not like this was going to last a lot longer, anyway," he added, "it's a time as good as any other to end it. And I'm happy with this much."  
  
Chris didn't look at his best friend, because he knew that if he had the lie was going to be blatantly written all over his face. Jensen had never been able to lie to him, and maybe this time it was for the best if they both believed he succeeded. "Besides, Dean wears really tight clothes," Jensen stated, trying to lighten up the mood, "both my ass and my crotch hurt a lot!" He chuckled and patted Chris' shoulder. "Now I’d better go, me and Jared have a movie to watch tonight."  
  
Chris nodded. "I'll be seeing you, man." As soon as the door was closed behind Jensen, Chris dropped into one of his salon's chairs. "I guess your role ends here, Dean," he said, staring at the lifeless clothes scattered on the counter.  
  
They looked as sad as he felt.

 

  
Jared stared at the guy in front of him.  
  
He was quite attractive, with the blond hair, and the blue eyes and the pouty lips...he was almost as tall as Jared, too, which was going to be useful at the moment of dancing.  
  
Still, something was _off_ and Jared couldn't for the life of him understand what it was.  
  
"Jason, this is Jared. Jared, Jason." Alona introduced them before going back to work and leaving them alone.  
  
They shook hands, then got into position.  
  
As soon as the music started, Jason followed, moving swiftly and leaving Jared plenty of space to do his own thing.  
  
He was good, very, and dancing with him Jared was going to have a great chance at winning, but-  
  
Jared stopped.  
  
"What's the matter?" The guy asked, frowning.  
  
Jared was at a loss for words, and it was a first, for him.   
  
_It's not you, it's me.  
  
You dance too good, there's nothing I can teach you.  
  
We'd be so perfect it wouldn't be funny._  
  
He discarded all of these answers and settled on a half truth. "Thank you, Jason. You're great, really, but I started this with Dean and he's the one I want to enter the competition with."  
  
Jared didn't know exactly what he was going to say until the words left his mouth, and only once they had he realized they were as true as the ones he kept inside.  
  
Dean was a loud idiot, he was rude, and sly; he couldn't move his feet in accordance with his arms, and he was unable to follow clear instructions. But every time they got it right, everytime their bodies moved in sync, it was like a small miracle had happened; Dean would beam and then he'd look suddenly so much younger and lighter than he usually did.  
  
Dean wore a mask, exactly as he did, and Jared cursed himself for not noticing earlier.  
  
Hopefully he was still in time to get him back.  
  
Jared didn't care about winning or losing: he decided to take the class because he needed to find a new reason to go on, a reason he had forgotten he had.  
Maybe, dancing with Dean, he was slowly going to remember.  
  
He marched up to Alona's desk, a resolute expression on his face. "Listen, Alona, I know that Dean didn't come today, but maybe I can convince him not to give up. Do you have his address?" He smiled at her. "We're in this together," he added.  
  
Alona arched an eyebrow, but didn't say anything as he searched the database in the computer for the data Jared asked for. "Here it is, Dean Winchester. No phone number, but we have the address. Winchester's Garage 221 Golden Marble."  
  
Jared thanked her and took off, just as Jason approached Alona's desk. "Who's this Dean?" He asked curiously.  
  
Alona shrugged. "Just a douchebag," she answered.  
  
Jason looked longingly at where Jared had been standing and sighed.  
  
"A _lucky_ douchebag," he corrected her.

 

  
Jared got down the taxi and blinked at the old rundown building.  
  
The rusty gate opened screeching and a car -presumably new- left the yard.  
  
It was a _real_ garage.  
  
"Why has Dean left the address of a garage?" Jared wondered, stopping right next to the door.  
  
Inside, there was noise and grease and it smelled of gasoline.  
  
Jared closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.  
  
It had been so long since he last entered a garage, and the homesickness washed over him like a tidal wave, so strong he had to lean against the wall to avoid his legs trying to give up.  
  
He tried to get his breathing in check and when he felt more or less back in control of himself he stepped away from the wall and entered, looking for someone who might help him.

 

  
Chris huffed. "Come on, Steve, how long can it take?!" He whined.  
  
Steve came out from under the red bike and glared at him. "I'm almost done, bitch. Tell me something: why does Jensen keep riding your bike?! Because i know it's him, I recognize his way of driving." He shook his head, scratching his nose. "I sold him a new Hyundai I 10 a few weeks ago! If he really wanted a bike, why didn't he keep his own? Man, was that a sweet ride...I would have kept it myself if I'd had the money to pay for it."  
  
Chris shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortably. "Er...that's a long story, we'll talk about it another time, ok? Now just hurry up. _Please_."  
  
Steve stared at him, then slowly and deliberately licked his lips. "You know I have ways to make you talk, Chris," he whispered, and Chris felt his voice vibrating through all his body. As every time Steve used that tone with him, his cock twitched in his pants.  
  
He swallowed noisily, and the hungry glance Steve spared to his adam's apple moving didn't help at all.  
  
"Steve..." He started, but never got around finishing the sentence: Adam, one of the youngest mechanics working at Steve's, bounced towards them.  
  
"Steve, there's a beanpole looking for Dean Winchester," He said.  
  
Chris' eyes widened as he jumped up from the tire he was sitting on, the flirting game with Steve already forgotten, because he knew who the only person looking for Dean Winchester would be.  
  
Steve was about to crack some joke about the name, but Chris ignored him and grabbed Adam's sleeve. "Ask him to take a seat and tell him that Dean is coming in soon."  
  
"Dean Winchester's coming?" Steve asked, all excited. "Damn, my mom loves the bastard! I have to call her so that-"  
  
Chris rolled his eyes. "No, not the actor! _Jensen_ is coming, as Dean Winchester."  
  
Steve blinked. "I'm lost. How did Jensen become Dean Winchester?"  
  
Chris grabbed his shoulder. "It's a very long story, I'll tell you all about it later. Now, hide the bike. I have to go call Jensen." Just before he left, he suddenly remembered something and turned back towards Steve. "Jensen's happiness depends on you, babe. Be careful what you say to that guy."

 

 

"Vancouver power, lighting up your life" Jensen answered, the boredom clear in his tone.  
  
All of it was blown away by Chris' hushed voice.  
  
"Jen? I'm calling from Steve's garage. Jared is here, looking for Dean."  
  
"What?!" Jensen squeaked, jumping off his chair. "How did he get there?!" Mike glared at him, and he blushed, lowering his head and quickly walking towards the exit door. "What am I supposed to do now?" He whispered, "I was set on ending the Dean masquerade so that Jared could win the competition..."  
  
He could hear Chris snorting on the other side of the phone. "I know that, you idiot! But you seem to have forgotten that now your story, Jared's and even Dean's are being written by God, not you."  
  
Jensen sighed. "You mean-"  
  
Chris huffed. "I mean that how and when Dean's _masquerade_ has to end is up to him too. Get your ass here as fast as you can, Jared's waiting."  
  
Jensen swallowed. "But-how am I supposed to come without my clothes? Dean's clothes? _The_ clothes?" He whined.  
  
"You have the emergency keys to the salon, right? Well, the clothes are still in the closet. I knew you were going to need them again soon."  
  
Jensen smiled. His best friend was never going to let him down. He was not alone in this. "Thanks, man, I'll be there in ten minutes tops. I love you," he said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," he could almost see Chris waving his hand dismissively to hide the embarrassment. " _Hurry_."

 

Jensen got out of the taxi, dressed up in a black t-shirt which proclaimed that he was ready to do it _with anyone, anywhere and at anytime_ , and a pair of even tighter than usual blue jeans.  
  
He had styled his hair, but he was still wearing his glasses.  
  
He stopped just outside the gate to swap them for the black ones he had brought along, and once he had put them on, his whole posture shifted, and he strutted inside the garage like he owned the place.  
  
"Good evening, Jarepartner! Never fear, Dean is here," he exclaimed as soon as he saw Steve talking to Jared.  
  
Cold sweat drenched the back of his t-shirt at seeing one of his oldest friends with his husband, afraid of what Steve could have let slip.  
  
Jared smiled at him, while Steve simply stared, his mouth hanging open and his eyes as wide as fried eggs. "So, did my boys look after you properly?" Dean asked, arching an eyebrow.  
  
Jared chuckled. "Absolutely. A five star hospitality," he answered.  
  
Jensen nodded, pleased, then he noticed Steve was still staring at him, so he slapped him. "What are you staring at, huh? Enough hanging around, I'm not paying you to idle away your time! Go do some work," he said, hoping that Steve would play along and not smash his face against the wall for daring to touch him.  
  
Steve growled lowly, but then he looked up and saw Chris, hiding behind a column with his hands lifted in prayer, so he breathed deeply. "Sure thing, _chief,_ " he muttered before stomping away. An instant later his phone vibrated in his pocket and he took him out to check the text he just got.  
It was from Chris.  
  
 _You're an angel. Tonight, I'll swallow._  
  
Steve smirked.

 

  
"So, Jarepartner," Dean started, sitting next to Jared on the bench, "you're here. What, why, how come?"  
  
Jared sighed. "Why didn't you come to dance school today?" he asked, his hazel eyes filled with a concern so pure it hurt to watch.  
  
Dean scratched the back of his neck and snickered. "Oh, you see, the thing is-I left dancing. Is quite boring, and not something real men like me can do still feeling comfortable with themselves, if you know what I mean," he answered, wriggling his eyebrows.  
  
Jared glared at him. "You haven't left dancing, Dean. You have left _me_. So that I can win. Am I right?"  
  
Dean blushed and looked away. "No-no, nothing like that, I'm not-"  
  
Jared took Dean's hand in his and smiled at him. "Listen, Dean, I'm not going to leave my partner. But I'm not going to lose, either." Dean's eyes slowly lifted again, only to get lost into Jared's sparkly ones. "At the beginning, I thought you were a really cheap asshole, but now I have realized that underneath all this façade you're hiding a pretty awesome, good hearted guy." Jared shrugged.  
"If you can be so worried about my winning, why can't I be the one worrying about your dancing? We're partners, Dean, we started this together, we'll get to the end together." Dean tried to protest, but Jared lifted a hand. "If you promise to work hard and do extra practice, I can promise you can get really good. I can see it already: you do have potential. We could win."  
  
Dean stared at Jared, speechless, unsure of what he could say to the immense trust the guy was showering him with.  
  
In the end, he grinned. "Jarepartner-I told you that you'd miss me," he stated.  
"Looks like Dean's magic has finally worked on you."  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. "And there you go again! Please, Dean, promise me one more thing. No more cheap flirting crap."  
  
Dean shook his head furiously. "Oh, no! You already asked me to do extra practice and work hard, and I can promise you that, but you can't take flirting away from me! I _breathe_ flirting! You don't want me to stop breathing, right?" He asked, batting his eyelashes coily.  
  
Jared didn't look amused. "We're going to be friends from today on, so I expect you to start acting like one," he spat. Dean looked taken aback from his attitude, so Jared sighed and stepped closer. "I'm not going to lie to you, Dean. I'm not the carefree, positive person I pretend to be, not anymore. But I decided I'm gonna stop pretending and I'm going to start trying to turn back into that person. I liked him." He looked at Dean with a steady gaze. "Which is why I want you to promise you'll stop pretending too. Let's start from scratch, what do you say?" Jared stood up and offered Dean his hand. "Hi, I'm Jared."  
  
Dean stood up as well, never happier to be wearing sunglasses than now that his eyes were suspiciously shiny, and shook the offered hand. "I'm Dean."  
  
Jared beamed at him. "Ok, I'll see you in class tomorrow, then." He stepped towards the exit, but Dean cleared his throat. "Jarepartner, aren't you forgetting something?" He asked, snapping his fingers.  
  
Jared huffed, but was smiling so deeply that for the first time since after the accident his dimples blossomed on his cheeks. "We are traveling the love lane, down the road we will meet again," he muttered.  
  
"I'll die of happiness!" Dean exclaimed as he left, doing a little victory dance.

 

  
Jensen and Chris got insanely drunk that night.  
  
Jensen was high on euphoria, because Jared's words gave him hope that the guy was trying to go back to how he used to be instead of killing the old Jared as he seemed to want at the beginning.  
  
It filled him with a deep thrill and warmth: Jared's happiness was the most important thing for him, he didn't care if he was going to be the one who would share it with Jared as long as he was sure Jared had it.  
  
Chris had been wishing for Jensen to find someone to love since they were teenagers, and he was ready to give anything in order for his friend to gain that happily ever after he deserved more than anyone else.  
  
So there they were, tequila and whisky bottles in their hands, singing at the top of their lungs in the still of the hair salon.  
  
Chris was the first to give up, falling in a heap on one of the chairs and starting to snore loudly as soon as his head touched the counter.  
Jensen giggled. "Come on, man, we were having fun!" He whined, pulling his arm, but Chris muttered a few curses and rolled onto his other side.  
  
Jensen huffed, adjusting his pants which were rubbing against his crack and crotch in a not _unpleasant_ way, especially since he was drunk and horny, so he decided he night as well get changed and go home.  
  
He shrugged and wandered away looking for his dress pants and shirt, stopping frozen in front of a mannequin which looked like him, dressed with all his clothes, his glasses and his fake moustache.  
  
He blinked and shook his head, trying to clear the haze, because there, right then, he felt like he, as Dean, was staring at Jensen  
  
For a moment, his personality shifted and he was splitted in two.  
  
He stumbled closer, a playful smirk on his face. "There you are," he drawled "did you see my style, eh, Jensen? Jared couldn't resist coming to me!" He chuckled, nudging the mannequin's shoulder. "Did you hear him? We're _friends_ , now. And you have seen enough movies to know that a girl and a guy can never be friends. After friendship comes love and _romance_."  
He twirled in the center of the room, almost falling but grabbing the counter just in time. He narrowed his eyes to look closer at his own face, and traced the mannequin's jaw and lips with a finger, before kissing his forehead. "I'm going to hold Jared's hand, Jensen," he whispered hotly in the mannequin's ear, "just as you've never been able to do, and while we dance, I'll conquer his heart." He snorted. "You can be happy holding the thermos instead," he spat in disgust. "I hate you, you son of a bitch" he hissed suddenly, punching the mannequin and almost sending it tumbling on the floor. "You're standing like a villain between us. You married him, Jensen, when he didn't want you, just because you wanted him to be yours. You destroyed his life! How can you stand there and watch him burning out day by day?"  
  
He tore at his hair, dropping down on his knees. "Jared's like a God, and you are nothing more than Jensen _I work for Vancouver Power_. What the fuck were you expecting?!" He hiccupped, hiding his face in his hands, then he slowly stood up once more and stared defiantly into the mannequin's empty eyes.  
"Listen, Jensen, I'm going to tell you this once, before Jared runs away with me and you're left alone with your useless and pathetic life: step aside, so that Dean is free to sweep him away and walk into the sunset while everything fades to black, the happy love song starts playing and the glorious _the end_ appears on the screen."  
  
He stood there, his arms wide open and his face transfixed while he imagined everything he just described, before the silence started weighing too much.  
"Hey, sucker, why are you so quiet, eh?" He retaliated, slapping the mannequin's cheeks. "A lot to think about, I suppose. Alright, take your time. We'll talk tomorrow."  
  
He moved to leave, but then he changed his mind and walked back to the mannequin, holding its shoulders with his arms. "You know what, Jensen? I will tell you what you're thinking." His voice started breaking, but he didn't seem to realize it. "You are thinking that if while loving Dean Jared would completely forget about Jensen, maybe he'll never have the chance of knowing and falling in love with the real you."  
  
He was crying now, endless tears running after the ones that just wetted his cheeks, as he simply dried them with his forearm and went on. "What if in the end Jensen is the one left saying _we are traveling the love lane, down the road we'll meet again_? What if all you'll have left is the hope of seeing someday Jared coming through your door to tell you he made a mistake and wanted to be with you all along?"  
  
He stopped talking, then, and simply held the mannequin against his chest, while he cried out all the pain he had been piling up in his chest, and as his tears fell down the mannequin's face it looked like both Dean and Jensen were breaking.

 

  
_TBC..._


	6. 05 - It’s like the spirit inside me dances

  
Jared stepped inside the garage, which was closed for the weekend, but being Dean's and all they were going to practice for as long as they felt like without anyone bothering them.  
  
Dean was already there, wearing some orange overalls, with a silver eagle sewed on the front and tying up his sneakers.  
  
"Ready?" Jared asked, smiling.  
  
Dean had a tired expression on his face, but as soon as he saw Jared he beamed and smiled back. "When you are, boss," he answered.  
  
Jared got into position next to Dean, and breathed deeply. "Alright, this is how this is going down. To have a chance in the competition, we'll have to come up with a routine, something fresh and original but not too difficult for either you to learn or for me to choreograph." Dean blinked behind his purple sunglasses, and Jared shook his head while he knotted his sweater around his hips. "Ok, let's start with the basics." He turned on his iPod, setting it on a base track with lots of beat to practise with, and started moving. "Put your left leg in, then your right leg out," he explained as Dean complied. "Good! Now turn your head around, sway and swing your legs up and down." He showed him how to do it, and Dean followed, his brows furrowed in concentration. "That's all it takes: you just have to start," Jared praised.  
  
They kept on singing, dancing and twisting a little, following the music; Jared didn't remember laughing so much in-well, a long time.

 

  
"Five, six, seven, eight!" Jared fixed his wristbands, as Dean warmed up, this time dressed in acid green and yellow with golden brown sunglasses.  
  
 _Where does he shop?_ Jared wondered _and how many more of this hideous outfits does he own?!_  
  
He snorted at the thought and then proceeded to explain to Dean the new steps he came up with. "Here we could flick our arms to the tune, like the hands of a clock, you know, from 7 to noon: I think it would look cool if we mirrored each other's gestures."  
  
Dean nodded, and when they tried, it _did_ look cool.  
  
"What if we swung our hips? Like a tidal wave or something?" Dean suggested, blushing a little.  
  
Jared thought about it for a second, then smiled. "I think it would work, you know!" He exclaimed, "like drawing a figure of eight in the air!"  
  
He tried it out, and Dean felt his mouth go dry when his brain helpfully supplied a similarly sweaty Jared performing the same movement against him in a different context and with a lot less clothes involved.  
  
"Dean! Are you ok?" Jared asked, waving a hand in front of Dean's face, and he quickly stepped back.  
  
"Uh, sure. Why?"  
  
Jared shrugged. "Don't know, you look...flustered, all of a sudden."  
  
Dean lowered his head. "Just-not used to this kind of physical effort, I guess," he said.  
  
Jared nodded. "Don't overdo it. You won't be of any use if you tire yourself too much. As long as we keep practicing constantly, either together or separately, we can make it. I know we can."  
  
Dean smiled, and was assured they would.

 

  
Jensen kept practicing obsessively in every spare moment he had.  
  
In the morning, he started cutting his shower time in order to execute the steps they'd add to the routine the previous day, and when he got back home from work he was doing the same every time Jared's back was turned.  
  
He even had Steve and Chris helping him to improve his coordination and fluidity, since they had an independent country band which used to play gigs in different parts of the country when they could both afford the luxury of leaving the business unattended for a while.  
  
They taught him how to face the stage, how to warm the public up, how to fight performance fright (the first time they had him singing the chorus of one of their songs with them during a concert, Jensen had a panic attack and puked all over the drummer).  
  
Jared practiced like crazy too: choreographing their performance was surprisingly easy for him. He could almost _see_ Dean and him executing the steps, and with the visual aid, half of the job was already done.  
  
"Let's try throwing a hand up, shaking it like we were ringing a bell," he was saying, as he twirled in the center of the room with a hand in the air, "then we could shake the other hand below, like we'd tug a kite to make it soar, and then repeat."  
  
They tried the whole thing a couple of times more, and only then Jared allowed them to rest. "That's what I call a workout," he said, panting a little, as he gulped down almost the whole water bottle in a single go.  
  
"That's what I call hep," Dean answered, clapping Jared's shoulder. "Thanks," he said abruptly after a couple of seconds.  
  
Jared blinked. "For what?"  
  
Dean nudged him. "For taking a chance on dancing with me."  
  
Jared stared at him and then smiled. "You're welcome."

 

  
The room stood silent for a moment before exploding in a roaring applause.  
Danneel stood up, clapping enthusiastically.  
  
"That was superb! Congratulations, Dean and Jared, you entered the top 10 of the dancing competition."  
  
The applause resumed, and Jared without thinking jumped into Dean's arms, hugging him tightly against his chest.  
  
As soon as he realized what he had done, he squeaked and jumped back, his head hanging down and his cheeks burning, and grabbed his hands instead.  
  
Dean was flying so high he didn't really mind any of that: he didn't let Jared down, and that, right there, felt like a fucking victory to him already.

 

  
"What will you have?" The waitress asked, winking at Dean, his leather jacket and his white, super tight shirt.  
  
Dean's gaze shifted to Jared, who simply shook his head at how the guy could change in the blink of an eye, then focused his attention on the waitress.  
"Hot dogs," he stated.  
  
Dean looked surprised, especially when the waitress asked how many were they going to order and Jared's grin got bigger. "You just keep bringing them, sweetheart: tonight there's no limit."  
  
The waitress shrugged. "Whatever," she answered, walking back towards the counter to pass the order to the kitchen.  
  
"What do you mean by _no limit_?" Dean asked, sounding a little concerned.  
  
Jared smirked and then licked his lips. "Deanpartner? Eating contest."  
  
Dean's mouth dropped open and his mind blacked out for a second, before he got back enough brain functions to retaliate "Then tell me, what does the winner get? There's no contest without a prize."  
  
Jared pondered about it for a moment, before nodding. "The winner can make the loser do one thing. Anything he wishes to, absolutely _anything_ , and the loser can't refuse."  
  
Dean's usual cocky grin came back full force. "In this case, Jarepartner, you've lost already, because I'd eat every hotdog in Vancouver in order to win."  
  
Jared narrowed his eyes. "Bring it on, cowboy."  
  
Dean punched the table and stood up. "Hey, dude! Where are the damn hotdogs?"

 

  
Once the 10th plate came by, with two more hot dogs on it, Jared took it up, tears running down his cheeks, but he couldn't bring himself to bite the bun and had to put it down, burping loudly.  
  
Dean beamed at him, stuffed his face with his last one and then stood on the table.  
  
"I'm the fucking king!" He shouted, and everyone cheered, while Jared tried his best not to laugh, in order to avoid moving the contents of his stomach more than what was strictly necessary.

 

  
Still burping, Jensen parked his car outside the apartment building and went up, using the stairs in the desperate attempt of helping the digesting process.  
In the hall, waiting for him, was Jared, smiling so brightly his dimples were showing.  
  
"Congratulate me?" He said, and Jensen had to use all of his strength and willpower to prevent himself from running up to him, cradle him in his arms and never let him go. Instead, he just arched an eyebrow in silent question, and Jared's smiled grew wider. "I've been selected as one of the top 10 dancers in the dance competition," he explained, and finally Jensen could smile back.  
  
"That's great, Jared, I'm so happy for you!" He exclaimed, grabbing his hand.  
Jared chuckled nervously and disentangled it, motioning at the thermos Jensen was still holding with his other hand.  
  
Jensen scratched the back of his neck and gave it to him, moving towards his room immediately after.  
  
The only thing he wanted right then was to take a hot shower, drink a lot of water and drop dead on his bed, cursing himself as he did every night for not being sharing his former king with Jared.  
Jared's words, however, stopped him cold in his tracks. "I've made you chicken rice today, I'll heat it up while you change!"  
  
The guy sounded so eager to please him, maybe to share some of his happiness too, that Jensen didn't have it in his heart to tell him he wasn't going to eat.

 

  
Once he had the steamy plate in front of his face, Jensen almost puked right then and there.  
  
Only thing to stop him were Jared's sparkling eyes, waiting for him to taste the food.  
  
He moved the rice around with the spoon for a few seconds, then he looked over at Jared and saw him drinking from a cup.  
  
"Where's your plate?" He asked.  
  
Jared shrugged. "I'm full. Dean and I went to celebrate, after class, and had hot dogs at a pub nearby."  
  
Jensen choked on his own spit. "D-Dean?"  
  
Jared slapped his forehead, chuckling. "I totally forgot to tell you! I'm sorry," he started.  
  
"Dean is my dance partner; as I told you, this dance competition is in pairs. Dean has his own garage, he's very funny and always makes me laugh."  
  
Jensen smiled, trying for it not to be too bitter.  
  
 _Jensen is the one that makes you cry, instead_ he couldn't help thinking.  
Jared stared at Jensen removing the food on his plate and his expression got a little concerned.  
  
"You don't like it? I could cook you something else..." Jared said, moving to stand up, but Jensen lifted a hand.  
  
"It's fantastic, Jared, really! Sorry, I was just distracted."  
  
Jared beamed at him; Jensen took a deep breath and started eating.  
  
If that was the only way _Jensen_ could make Jared happy, he was not going to pass on it.

 

  
"Fuck," Jensen groaned, in the darkness of his room, pushing both of his hands on his aching stomach.  
  
"Jared was right, love is _so_ painful."  
  
Not only the disguising, the dancing practice, the deception; now he was also going to have to face the pain of eating.  
  
He whimpered and closed his eyes.  
  
 _This love will kill me, someday_ he thought _one way or another._  
And still, he knew he wasn't going to change a single thing of it all, even if he had been given the chance.

 

  
There were only four more couples apart from Jared and Dean who could actually win the competition and fight each other for the title.  
  
One was formed by Samantha and Jeffrey, both a little older than the others but could get quite wicked on the dancefloor.  
  
Then, there were Misha and Robert (a couple of lawyers who started taking lessons as couple therapy, since their marriage was at stake) and the young Jake and Julie, fresh out of high school and anxious to see the world.  
  
The last two dancers, aside from Jared and Dean, were Zac and Corbin.  
They were slightly younger than them, but in their eyes (especially Zac's) burned the fire of competition.  
  
They wanted to win the contest no matter what, and that kinda threw Jared off; he danced for the joy of doing it, and couldn't even start to contemplate doing it just in order to be the best.  
  
He got lost in his thought just as he was practicing a few steps in front of the mirror, and therefore he didn't see Zac approaching.  
  
Next thing he knew, his foot hit something and he heard a pained growl; when he looked on the side, there was Zac holding his leg. "God, I'm so sorry!" Jared exclaimed, moving closer to the guy.  
  
Zac looked at him narrowing his eyes. "You _fucker,_ " he hissed, and Jared blinked, stepping back.  
  
"There's no need to get nasty, Zac, I-I said I'm sorry, alright?" He said, surprised by Zac's murderous expression.  
  
Zac snorted. "Save your breath. I know people like you: you hit purposely and then say sorry, so that the best of the competition goes out right at the beginning and you can easily win. Well, though luck, _bitch_." Zac was snarling right in his face, so Jared pushed him back slightly.  
  
"Listen to me, mister Madonna, call me bitch one more time and you won't know what hit you," he stated, his voice low and dangerous.  
  
The guys glared at each other, moving in a defensive position and ready for the blows to start flying, when Dean saw what was happening and stepped in between.  
"Jarepartner, what's this? Come on, it's ok, just ignore him! You know how he is..."  
  
When he saw Jared's fists were still clenched and his expression was still resolute and angry, Dean sighed. "Never fear, Dean is here-I'll talk to him, ok? _Stay here_."  
  
But once he turned, instead of facing the lithe, slightly shorter body of Zac he found hiself staring at Zac's partner, Corbin, who was bulky and looked pissed.  
"Talk to me, sport," he said with an ironic smirk on his lips.  
  
Dean swallowed noisily. "Er, well, I just-I wanted to apologize on my partner's behalf, and you can do the same on behalf of yours, how's that? This way, nobody gets hurt..."  
  
"Tiny!" Zac's whiny voice interrupt him. "Tiny, look what he has done to my leg."  
  
He lifted it to show them a small bruise, almost invisible, his eyes filled with tears.  
  
Dean blinked and looked at Corbin.  
  
"T-Tiny?" he managed to say, trying with all his might not to laugh.  
  
Corbin narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, that's my petname. Any problem?" He asked menaciously.  
  
Dean lifted his hands and shook his head vehemently. "Of course not! I mean-size doesn't matter. Or something." He patted Corbin's bicep. "Men should all be solid like you," he added.  
  
"Besides, my pet name is...chicken little" Dean improvised, and Corbin's eyes widened as he chuckled.  
  
"I feel your pain, man," he said, his expression softening.  
  
Dean offered him a small nod. "Corbin, Zac, why don't we put all of this behind us? I'll say sorry on everyone's behalf and we carry on. What do you say?"  
  
Zac still looked pissed, but Corbin arched an eyebrow and he sighed. Dean beamed and clapped his hands.  
  
"Great!" He exclaimed, before bouncing back to Jared, who was looking at him from the corner where he left him.  
  
Jared crossed his arms against his chest and glared at him. "I could have taken him," he muttered, and Dean rolled his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Then _they_ would have taken _us_ and kicked us right out of the competition. Is that what you want? After all the efforts we made?"  
  
Jared looked doubtful.  
  
"Come on, let's channel that anger," Dean suggested, moving into their starting position.

 

  
"What an asshole! I should have punched that ugly motherfucker in the face and broke his stupidly perfect nose," Jared muttered through clenched teeth as they walked out of the gym towards Dean's bike.  
  
Dean snickered. "Jared, can I say something? Swearing doesn't suit you. Besides, Zac's not worth all the time you're wasting on him. He's just-"  
  
"Whoa! Losers!"  
  
Zac, on Corbin's bike, passed next to them and pushed Jared off the bike, before riding away laughing.  
  
Jared stood back up, his jaw clenched and his eyes throwing daggers. "Hold this and move," he demanded, throwing his bag at Dean.   
  
Dean got off the bike and stared as Jared jumped on it and turned the engine on.  
  
"What the-"  
  
He didn't have the time of saying anything else, because Jared made the bike roar and rode after them.

 

  
"Fuck, Jared, take it easy!" Dean shouted, as Jared drove fast through the streets.  
  
"There they are!" Jared exhulted as they got closer to Corbin's bike.  
"You're a useless sucker," Jared screamed, as Zac narrowed his eyes and tried to hit them with his bag before they turned abruptly.  
  
"Oh, it's so _on_ now," Jared muttered, before turning the bike in the opposite direction.  
  
When Zac and Corbin got back on the main road, they found Jared and Dean (who was actually _shaking_ on the backseat) waiting for them.  
  
"I'm ready, Jarepartner, but what's the plan?" Dean murmured in Jared's ear.  
Jared smirked.  
  
"It's time to see who the loser is," he answered before driving straight towards them.  
  
Dean closed his eyes as tight as he could, praying fervently.   
  
_God, if you save us now I'm going to talk to Jared. I'm going to tell him everything. I swear._  
  
He felt the air wooshing by on their side when Corbin and Zac moved abruptly to avoid the collision, and he opened his eyes just in time to see them ending up in a dumpster.  
  
Jared drove away, laughing loud and free, and all of Dean's fear dissipated in an instant.  
  
"Tiny?" Jared shouted as they drove away "I suggest you mess with people your own size next time."

 

  
"So, what was all that?" Dean asked as Jared stopped the bike in front of his house.  
  
Jared shrugged. "My best friend's father had a bike," he explained, "we used to steal it and ride it every night. At the beginning we just drove until our legs hurt, then we-" He stopped, blushing slightly, and looked away. "I've had three years of practice," he concluded.  
  
Dean's heart clenched at seeing how much pain Jared was still carrying inside, but he forced himself to act normal. "Any more surprises?" He asked, smirking. "Are you about to fly away like Superman or something like that?"  
  
A small smile appeared on Jared's face, as he looked back at Dean with a grateful look in his eyes. "You never know, Dean, wait and see," he said.  
  
 _Like I've been doing anything else lately,_ Dean thought.

 

  
"So...Jared was driving the bike." Jensen nodded sheepishly. "At over 200 km/h?" He nodded again. "And what were you doing as he drove?" Chris asked.  
  
Jensen scratched the back of his neck, blushing. "I was-sitting behind," he stuttered. At Chris' incredulos expression, he lifted his hands. "Hey, someone had to hold the bag, right?"  
  
Chris rolled his eyes and flailed a little. "Are you listening to yourself?!" He exclaimed. "He drives the bike and you sit behind holding the bag?! You have spoilt the _macho_!"  
  
Jensen looked guilty. "I'm sorry, man. Which part of the bike is it? Is it expensive? I can pay for it if-"  
  
Chris kicked him in the shin. "I'm talking about the _macho_ image we've been trying to build for Dean with the clothes and the attitude!"  
  
Jensen blinked. "The _what_ image?"  
  
Chris sighed. "Why does Dean ride a bike? To look _macho_. Why does he wear jeans? To look _macho_."  
  
Jensen didn't look convinced. "Chris, still I-who-"  
  
" _Macho_ means _manhood_ , Jen! You've been to the movies with Jared, right? So you've seen that usually the hero just appears, picks the heroine up and rides away towards the sunset with her. That's _macho_. The action king Bruce Willis is _macho_ , and so is Sylvester Stallone, and Brad Pitt. But you..." Chris shook his head. "If you sit on the backseat holding the gym bag, you destroy the image of manly man you were trying to project all along."  
  
Jensen finally understood and looked terrified. "I can rectify this _macho_ thing, right? RIGHT?!" He asked, shaking Chris.  
  
Chris nodded. "Of course. First of all, you must _never_ sit on the backseat again. The handle must always be in your hands, either on the bike or in your everyday life, otherwise Jared will never respect you."  
  
Jensen nodded fervently, drinking up every word. "Also, when you walk," Chris continued, "you must swell your chest like _this_."  
  
He showed Jensen, who tried and ended up coughing helplessly.  
  
Chris sighed. "Try once more, next we'll work on the strut and the attitude _again_ , since you seemed to have forgotten all of it."  
  
Jensen nodded again. He was going to become a real _macho_ man and Jared was finally going to fall for him.

 

  
_TBC..._


	7. 06 - I wish someone would love me (even if it’s a lie)

  
Dean stormed in the gym, all chest swelled, fists on his hips and confident steps, but stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he entered and took in the view in front of him.  
  
All the finalist couples, the workers and even the trainers were sitting down and talking softly in small groups.  
  
Dean blinked, confused.  
  
Didn't they ask for the special Sunday practice, since the competition was only a week away?  
  
Then he saw them.  
  
 **Coloured wristbands**. Everywhere.  
 _Fuck, today is the first Sunday of August_ Dean thought, shocked.  
And first Sunday of August only meant one thing.  
 _Friendship Day_.  
  
Starting to sweat profusely, Dean slowly stepped back, still checking his surroundings.  
  
Sitting in a corner, Zac was whistling as he put a yellow and orange wristband on Tiny's wrist, and Tiny was sobbing.  
  
That was _not_ good.  
  
If Jared offered him a friendship bracelet and he accepted it, he was going to accept that nothing was ever going to happen between them.  
  
He would have preferred sawing off his arm to getting a friendship bracelet, but if Jared gave it to him, he wasn't going to be able to refuse.  
  
Which is why he turned and started running towards the bathroom, hoping to succeed in avoiding Jared.  
  
If he called to ask him why he didn't show up to practice, he could invent an excuse; hell, it was not like he had been this example of honesty, after all, and one more lie was not going to hurt anyone.  
  
Nodding to himself and his brilliant plan, he took out his phone as soon as he was sitting into a stall.  
  
"Chris?" he whispered, hoping no one would hear him.  
  
"Whassup, _macho_?" Chris answered.  
  
"No _macho_ here, you moron! Today is Friendship Day, and everyone's tying friendship wristbands around here...if Jared does that, I'm screwed!"  
  
A prolongued silence came from the other side of the line.  
  
"Jen, there's only one thing left to do: go hide in the bathroom."  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Where do you think I am, Chris? I might be useless when it comes to love, but I'm not that stupid either, you know."  
  
He could picture Chris pacing around the salon, trying to come up with something. "Well, whatever happens, don't come out," Chris stated, in the end.  
"You can die there, but you cannot let Jared tie a friendship bracelet on your wrist." Dean nodded fervently. "Ok then. Gotta go, smoke is starting to come out of Mrs. Gamble's hair. Best of luck, buddy!"  
  
And with that, Chris hung up.  
  
"What the- _best of luck_?! Damn Chris..."  
  
Dean was so engrossed into cursing his best friend that he didn't hear the voice calling him until someone knocked on the door of his stall.   
  
"Dean, are you in there?" Jared asked.  
  
Dean froze and tried to even holds his breath, but Jared knocked once more, his voice a little annoyed when he called out again.  
  
Dean sighed. "Yeah, I'm here," he answered, lowering his head. "I'm not feeling well, my-my stomach hurts, so I won't be able to dance today," he added as a second thought, hoping Jared would leave him alone.  
  
Jared, however, wasn't going to have any of it. "Fine, then we'll go shopping for costumes, since no one seems interested in dancing anyway; they're too busy with their stupid friendship wristbands, it's _so_ irritating."  
  
Dean stood up abruptly and jumped out the stall.  
  
Jared stepped back, surprised.  
  
"So, irritating, huh?" Dean asked.  
  
Jared shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, shaking his head at his partner's weirdness.  
  
Dean stole a glance to the mirror, where he was reflecting wearing his blue t-shirt and his lilac sunglasses, and smirked at himself.  
  
 _Not friendly, but **macho**_.

 

  
"You see, Friendship Day has been turned into a marketing gimmick," Jared explained, as they took the escalator to the top floor of the commercial centre.   
"Wherever you go there's someone tying a wristband, selling a wristband or buying a wristband. This celebration has been commercialized just as Valentine's day, Mother's day and St. Patrick's day, and I can't stand it."  
  
Dean nodded understandingly, but Jared wasn't done. "It's like people need reminding in order to appreciate their relationships. What, now I need a bracelet to know if you're my friend, professional partner or whatever? Why shouldn't I be able to understand where we stand on my own?"  
  
Dean's eyes flickered and he looked away; Jared didn't show any signs of noticing. "You're absolutely right, Jarepartner," he said, thinking about how hard it was sometimes to know where one stood. "But I think the problem stands in the lack of communication," he added. "Look at Tiny and Zac; until yesterday, everyone thought that they were an item, but today Zac tied a friendship wristband to Tiny's wrist out of the blue. The poor loser was crying his eyes out, I swear."  
  
Jared snorted, but didn't answer, so Dean took it as his cue to continue.  
"I mean, what did Tiny do? Probably Zac wasn't honest with him and didn't tell him what he really wanted from their relationship." Jared arched an eyebrow.  
"Well, one thing's for sure: no one one wants a bodyguard who calls himself boyfriend and does nothing but going around showing how _macho_ he is."  
Dean, who's eyes got wider with every word Jared said, suddenly deflated when he heard the last sentence.  
  
Jared dropped a few shirts in his arms, demanding he tried them on, and then walked to an empty dressing room.  
  
Dean was confused.  
  
No macho, then? But Chris said-  
  
"Dean, come on! Move!"

 

  
Dean was about to put a yellow shirt on, when something came on his mind.  
Or maybe he just found the courage because there was a wall between his dressing room and Jared's, and he didn't have to look at his husband's face as he spoke.  
"Jared?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm-confused."  
  
"Why? The size is not right?"  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. "No, not about the clothes! I have confusion in my mind. And in my heart."  
  
Jared stood silent for a moment. Just as Dean thought Jared was going to brush him off, and was about to hit his head against the wall, his voice came up, soft. "Go on."  
  
Dean threw the shirt on the floor, took the tripod and positioned it next to the wall separating their dressing rooms. "Tell me one thing," he started, "what do people want from a relationship?" Before Jared could answer, he quickly added, "I never worried about it, since usually guys and girls throw themselves at me without me having to do anything, so I've never stopped to think."  
  
Jared chuckled, then a low thump told Dean he had sat down too. "That's a very difficult question, Dean," he said. "The answer is different for everyone. It may be a really simple one, but usually by the time one understands it, he's already turned old."  
  
Dean blinked. "If you have the answer already, though, please tell me!" He begged. "I don't want to risk losing something special just because I hadn't been able to see it when it was right in front of me." He felt the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes and tried to stop them.  
"I don't want to turn old alone," he added, in a low, broken voice.  
  
Jared sighed. "The only thing everyone needs and desires is to be loved like no one has ever been loved before. There is nothing else you could ask for in your life."  
  
Dean pushed his forehead against the wall; Jared's voice sounded small and full of regrets, and all Dean wanted was for that wall to disappear in order for him to walk up to Jared and hold him in his arms until every painful feeling was gone.  
  
For a moment the time stopped as their heart reached out for one another, without consciously knowing they were, then Jared cleared his throat and stood up.  
  
"You get it now?" He asked, his voice back to the carefree, friendly tone it usually had. "If Zac had thought Tiny loved him like this, he would have never gave him a friendship wristband."  
  
With those words, Jared walked away, telling Dean to hurry up as he went to leave all the clothes they were not going to buy.  
  
As soon as Dean was alone, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  
  
"I love you more than you can imagine, Jared" he murmured "and _you_ are the one who is not able to see it. Never mind, though: Dean will show my love to you. No _macho_ involved," he added, trying to lighten up his mood, while he stood up and went after Jared.

 

  
As he parked the bike, Dean fidgeted.   
  
He knew that was his chance to ask but still something in his guts was telling him it was too much, too soon.  
  
Dean ignored his instinct and turned towards Jared as he stepped off the bike.  
"Listen, Jared-tomorrow is my birthday." Jared smiled. "Hence, I want to spend the whole day with you."  
  
The smile disappeared and Jared furrowed his brow. "Er...but...a whole day...I don't think..." He stuttered, but Dean lifted a finger.  
  
"You can't refuse, Jarepartner. I won the eating contest, remember? This is the prize I want, and you said _anything_." Jared still didn't look convinced, so Dean sighed. "Every year I spend this day alone," he said, "but I thought that maybe I could do something different this year, I thought that maybe I wasn't alone anymore." He swallowed noisily.  
  
 _Please, say yes. Please._  
  
Jared scratches his neck. "I still don't think-"  
  
"What, do I have to tie a friendship bracelet to your wrist in order for you to come with me?" Dean interrupted him, arching an eyebrow again and again, until Jared laughed.  
  
"Alright, Deanpartner. Tomorrow I will be all yours."  
  
Dean had never been more grateful for the sunglasses he wore, because he was quite sure all the love he felt for Jared was shining through and if Jared had been able to look into his eyes there was no way Dean could have hidden it from him.  
  
"Way to go!" he exclaimed, pumpfisting. "I will pick you up at 9 tomorrow morning, then."  
  
Jared watched the bike leaving, as Dean repeated his _love lane_ refrain, and shook his head, still laughing.

 

  
"So, tomorrow is your birthday, Jen."  
  
Jensen froze, as Chris put Dean's clothes away. "Yeah," he answered, as vague as possible. Chris as usual read through him, though, and turned towards him, question plain on his face. Jensen sighed. "Fine, fine! I asked Jared to spend the day with me." Chris beamed, but Jensen shook his head. "Don't get all excited. As Dean."  
  
Chris didn't look any less happy. "I figured, but still, man! That's _great_! It means you decided to stop dwelling on the past and move on."  
  
The truth was that his parents threw Jensen out on his birthday, after telling him things he hadn't been able to forget.  
  
That day, the day which was supposed to celebrate his arrival in this world, turned into the day which, according to them, doomed his parents' lives forever.  
And even if Chris kept telling him that it wasn't true, they didn't mean it and sooner or later they would have realized they were wrong and ask for forgiveness, even if Jensen himself knew that he wasn't a mistake or a glitch of God's Creation, it had always been too painful for him to celebrate.  
  
Until now.  
  
Now he had to keep the promise he made, he had to talk to Jared, and a different context was maybe going to help; his birthday had just come at the right moment, and Jensen was not going to waste a chance as good as that. Besides, Jared was his family, now.  
  
"If I can do anything to help you, anything, man, just say the word," Chris said, clapping his shoulder.  
  
Jensen smiled. "Actually, there is one thing: let's call Mike."

 

  
Dean had taken Jared to a country fair.  
  
They had walked through the stalls, talking and laughing, and Dean's eyes had gotten softer and softer as the day went by.  
He had looked closely at Jared, for the first time allowed to do so, and had seen paradise, passion, all of his wishes put together.  
  
His soul had felt lighter, his spirit eased, and for a moment his life hadn't seem so bad if it had Jared in it.  
  
Day by day, the young man had crept into his heart, without knocking, and set his residence there; slowly, his soul had stopped weeping and started to learn how to smile once more.  
  
He didn't know much about love and people, but as he had seen Jared entering a small chapel on the side he had been hit by a sudden realization: he saw God in him.  
  
That's what God did, that's what God meant: people like Jared, bright and shiny and so pure that everyone surrounding them gets purer just because they're close.  
  
That's the God he always believed in, not the evil, mean one his parents had tried to show him.  
  
And maybe it had been blasphemy, and maybe he was going to be hated by God even more because of it, but he hadn't known what else to do.  
  
He had felt like bowing his head before Jared, just because he had been blessed by his presence, and after all it was God who joined them together, so it couldn't possibly be that bad, right?  
  
Dean had followed Jared inside the chapel, and had stared at him as he lighted a candle.  
  
Those were the moments when the distance between them was so real he could almost touch it, and it was so frustrating.  
  
He had known Jared was probably thinking about his father, and Chad, and he didn't have any right to be jealous of either of them, but still he had been.  
Right then, Jared had turned and had smiled at him, before sitting on a bench and bowing his head in prayer.  
  
He had looked so unhumanly beautiful that Jensen had had to close his eyes for a second.  
  
Since the first moment he had seen Jared he had loved him, and every day something had fueled that love; sometimes it had been his words, his laugh, the light in his eyes.  
  
Sometimes it had been the way he blushed, or the way he danced.  
  
So many different persons all fused in one, like Jared was a lifetime of treasures.  
  
He was being foolish, there was no way he was going to ever be part of Jared's world the way he wanted to, but still Jared was brightening up his life, and he wasn't sure he was ever going to be able to go on without Jared in it anymore.  
Sure, Jared tormented him, unconsciously, and made him miserable, but still it was like his spirit was moving his first steps: aside from teaching him how to dance, Jared was teaching him how to be.  
  
Jared was all the good luck everyone could ever hope to get, and he was worth of all the devotion Dean was able to give, he couldn't help praying it was going to be enough.

 

  
Dean parked his bike at the side of the road, it was a beautiful spot from where the whole of Vancouver was visible.  
  
The sun had already set, and the city lights were shining brightly as jewels dropped aphazardly in the valley.  
  
Jared looked at the spectacular landscape with a dreamy smile on his face.  
Dean took his phone out and quickly dialled Chris' number. "Hey, pal, we're here. Yes. Are you all ready there? Ok, then. Ready-steady-go!"  
  
Suddenly the whole city fell into darkness, as the lights turned off, one after the other.  
  
"Dean!" Jared called, turning abruptly towards him, "Come see this! Something weird is going on..."  
  
Dean simply shook his head and motioned for him to turn back, and when Jared did his mouth dropped open.  
  
The lights were still out, but not all of them.  
  
A few started appearing here and there, in an apparently random way, until everything stopped and Jared finally saw it.  
  
 **I LOVE YOU**.  
  
Jared gaped, unable to speak, as he kept staring at it without blinking.  
Then, as suddenly as it came, the writing was engulfed by the million lights which were turned back on.

 

  
Jared's heart was thumping crazily, and his stomach hurt as he tried hopelessly to process it all. "What-what was that, Dean?" He asked, his voice sounding a little shaken.  
  
Dean opened his arms and shrugged. "Just love, Jarepartner," he answered, softly, "true love, I swear to God." Jared's eyes widened as Dean kept talking.  
"You look at me and see a rough, tough guy; you would be right. If I had tried to express my feelings for you through words, something stupid would surely have come out." Jared couldn't be sure, because of the dim light, but it looked like Dean was blushing slightly. "So I thought that I was better off letting Vancouver express it for me." He stepped a little closer to Jared. "Did you not like it?" He asked, sounding uncertain.  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. " _Like_ it?! Everyone dreams that someday they’ll be loved this madly. Actually, I don't think anyone can even _start_ to dream about this kind of madness." Jared sighed and looked back at the city lights.  
"I really liked it, Dean, but-at the same time I'm feeling sad." He crossed his arms on his chest. "I have made a huge mistake," he murmured, and probably Dean wouldn't have heard him if the night hadn't been still and silent as it was. "I should have told you that I-I'm married."  
  
Now was the time for Dean to roll his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know everything about it. His name is Jensen Ackles, he works for Vancouver Power and you share the house."  
  
Jared narrowed his eyes. "Have you been _spying_ on me?" He growled, and Dean lifted his hands.  
  
"No way! I just-looks like one of my guys at the garage knows a friend of his. Anyway, Jared, I didn't do all of this with any expectations. Absolutely not."  
  
Tighting his grip around his own chest, Jared arched an eyebrow. "Why did you, then?"  
Dean offered him a small smile, so vulnerable and honest that it caught Jared completely off guard. "I just wanted you to know how special you are to me. Don't worry," he added immediately after, seeing as Jared opened his mouth to speak, "nothing has changed between us. We were friends and we will remain friends, so-"  
  
Jared slowly shook his head as he faced him. "No, Dean. Everything has changed," he said. "When someone starts to dream with open eyes, the whole world around changes. Nothing can possibly remain the same after that."  
Dean stepped back, in shock. He didn't expect this to happen. "Please, leave, Dean. I'll catch a cab, or-whatever. I need to be alone for a while. Please?" Jared begged, turning his back on him once more.  
  
His shoulders were shaking and Dean didn't need to be a mind reader to know he was crying.  
  
One tear after another fell down his cheeks, following the trail all the previous ones left as Jared simply stood there, barely holding himself together, until he heard Dean's bike drive away.  
  
Only then he allowed himself to crumble down.

 

  
As Jensen put his hair back in place, Chris paced restlessly around. "Jen, I think it's enough now," he stated eventually.  
  
"It's time for you to put an end to this double role and tell Jared the truth."  
  
Jensen fixed his tie. "Not now, man."  
  
"But why not?!"   
  
Chris sounded frustrated and Jensen sighed. "Because I want, no, I _need_ to know whether he loves Jensen or Dean."  
  
Chris blinked. "What?! Come on, buddy, they are both the same person! Whoever Jared fell in love with, he'll only be loving you."  
  
Jensen shook his head, putting his glasses back on, then slowly turned towards his best friend. His eyes were sad but resolute. "He doesn't know they are the same, though, does he? There are a lot of differences between them: Jensen is his husband, while Dean is nobody."  
  
Chris opened and closed his mouth, but couldn't for the life of him come up with any answer.  
  
Jensen was right.  
  
In a weird, insane, retorted way, but he was right.  
  
"If we pretend for a moment that your twisted logic works," he said after a while, "the biggest difference is that Dean expressed his love for Jared loud and clear, but what has Jensen done? He keeps his love shut in a tiffin box."   
Jensen looked at him, slightly taken aback by his words, and Chris went on.  
"Jen, nobody here is God. All of us are simply human, and humans need love, especially a guy like Jared, who's so young and has already lost so much: he will get pulled towards wherever he'll find love, and you can't blame him."  
Jensen lowered his head, as Chris got closer and grabbed his arm.  
"You are being unfair to your husband, man. On one hand, as Dean, you show him heaven; on the other, as Jensen, you don't show him anything but your grandfather's cottage. If you'd show Jared how much you love him, as _Jensen_ , he'd never look at another Dean. Ever."  
  
Jensen's expression was torn and regretful. "Listen, Chris. To make Jared laugh and keep him happy, I'm ready to do comedy, dance and even humiliate myself, if that's what it takes. I can change myself completely and become Dean. But to win his love..." He smiled sadly. "To win his love, I won't change. Jared will have to love _this_ Jensen, the one who's boring and shy and works in a cubicle, for just what he is. He will have to understand my way of loving, accept it and reciprocate it." Jensen stepped back and shrugged. "Otherwise, we are traveling the love lane and down the road we will meet again. Maybe."  
  
And with those words, he left, his eyes suspiciously shiny and his steps a little lopsided.  
  
Chris tried to stop him, to talk it over a little more, but with no result.  
As soon as he was alone, he hid his face in his hands. "God, why are you adding spice to a love story that could have been sugary sweet?" He asked, not actually expecting an answer.

 

  
The sound of their knives and forks against the plates was the only noise in the house.  
  
Neither Jensen or Jared had the courage to look at each other. Eventually, Jensen cleared his throat, searching for some topic of conversation, and Jared's head snapped up, a guilty look on his face.  
  
"So, how's the dance practice going?" Jensen asked, out of the blue.  
  
Jared's eyes shifted from side to side, before he muttered, "good".  
  
Jensen's next question took them both by surprise. "And how is your partner-what was his name?"  
  
Jensen wanted to kick himself, and Jared suddenly looked as he had just swallowed a lemon. "Dean” he said, hoarsely, but didn't give an answer to Jensen's question.  
  
Jensen's gaze dropped on his plate as he kept on eating. "So, is this _Dean_ married?"  
  
Jared paled instantly. "N-no, he isn't."  
  
Jensen looked at him, and for an instance they stared at each other, both desperately trying to find the truth in each other's eyes, until Jensen shifted his gaze once more.  
  
After the silence had fallen on them again, Jensen talked. "Listen, why don't we go out and get a beer? Just-just to see some life, I mean, it's Saturday night after all."  
  
Jared offered him a small, tired smile. "Sure."

 

  
_TBC..._


	8. 07 - My own and a stranger: difficult puzzle, silly heart

  
The bar was just verging on the side of sleazy, but Jared didn't mind.  
  
After a couple of beers and a few more shots, he started to actually like the place.  
  
He knew he was not supposed to drink too much, since he couldn't risk his tongue to become loose but fuck it, he was going to do his damn best to have fun.  
He deserved it.  
  
Jensen simply sat at the table, close but not enough to touch him, drinking his beer in little sips.  
  
He looked completely out of place with his pristine white shirt and his perfectly ironed pants, surrounded by bikers and leather lovers.  
  
Suddenly Jared's mind played tricks on him and Jensen started to shift until it was Dean sitting next to him. Dean would have had the loudest laughter, he would have played pool and probably hustled some money, even though he most definitely didn't need it.  
  
He would have done so just in order for Jared to notice him and Jared would have just chuckled and shook his head at him, thinking he was just an overgrown kid.  
  
A hand brushed his and he snapped out of his daydream turning to look at his husband's concerned face.  
  
"Jared, are you ok? Did you have too much to drink? Maybe we should go..."  
  
Jared swallowed noisily and felt his eyes hitch, so he stood abruptly up. "No, I'm fine, I just-need some air. I'll be right back."  
  
With just a few long steps he was out and as soon as he was surrounded by the darkness of the night, he pushed his forehead against the cold wall of the bar, trying to calm down his racing heart.  
  
"Hey, handsome."  
  
The voice was dripping lust and froze him on the spot.  
  
He slowly turned around and was faced with a bulky man, taller than him and with at least twice his muscles.  
  
The twinkle in his eyes was _not_ good.  
  
"I saw you inside with that uptight loser, and you didn't seem to have fun, so I thought _Hey, Jimbo, you could show handsome a good time, couldn't you?_ Well, here I am. What do you have to say?"  
  
Jared stepped back, but collided with the wall. He knew he had too much alcohol in his system to be able to face the man, his reflexes would be sloppy; he couldn't even run, his knees were not going to hold him for long.  
  
His eyes shifted, trying to meet someone else's who could help, but they were alone in the back alley.  
  
The man, who self appointed himself as Jimbo, moved closer with a predatory and hungry look on his face.  
  
"Leave me alone," Jared said, trying to make his voice not show how scared he was.  
  
"Come on, baby, don't play hard to get now," Jimbo whispered against his cheek, and Jared had to will his sickness away.  
  
Jimbo's breath reeked, but Jared was quite sure that puking on him wouldn't have won him any favours.  
  
Then, from nowhere a voice came up.  
  
"I think he asked you to leave him alone."  
  
Jimbo's head snapped on the side, and Jared's eyes widened when he saw Jensen standing there, fists clenched and a resolute expression on his face.  
"Oh, a hero?" Jimbo cooed. "Are you trying to impress your girlfriend?"  
  
He stepped back from Jared, narrowing his eyes. "Come on then, loser, smash me down. here's your chance."  
  
Jensen stood there for a long moment, and Jimbo's smile turned into a smirk.  
"So you're all talk, uh? No lion heart?"  
  
Jared tried to motion for Jensen to leave: the guy was a monster, and he had the power to blow them both to little bits.  
  
Somehow it was his fault for catching Jimbo's attention, and he was going to get himself out of his own mess.  
  
His mind ran to Dean, and he felt even more guilty because of it.  
  
There was Jensen, risking his life to protect him, and the only thing Jared could do was thinking about another man.  
  
He probably deserved whatever Jimbo was about to do to him.  
  
 _I love you, Jared. I love you._  
  
"Ow, you little fucker!"  
  
Jimbo's growl forced him to focus on the present once more, and what he saw shocked him: Jensen was shaking, and on Jimbo's face a bruise was starting to appear.  
  
"Do you have a death wish?!" Jared shouted, "Stop it!"  
  
But Jensen didn't seem to listen to him.  
  
He charged Jimbo again, and the man's fist collided with his stomach. Jensen dropped on the floor, his breathing ragged but he hit one of Jimbos legs, throwing him on the floor as well.  
  
Jared was sweating profusely as he looked at that unfair fight; he knew he should have tried to help, but still he couldn't move.  
  
If it was because of fear or guilt, he didn't know.  
  
It wasn't because of the alcohol anymore, though, that much was for sure: as soon as Jensen came into the picture, Jared got instantly stonecold sober.  
Jimbo kicked Jensen, and Jensen rolled on himself.  
  
They both stood back up, slowly and Jensen held his chest with a hand.  
Another couple of punches had his legs trembling, but still he didn't give up: as soon as Jimbo got closer enough, he hit his nose with his head, as hard as he could.  
  
Jimbo stumbled back, holding his nose in his hands and cursing loudly as blood started flowing.  
  
That only seemed to make him madder and he elbowed Jensen in the ribs, causing him to moan in pain and forcing him to fall on his knees.  
  
Jensen's eyes behind his glasses were getting a little unfocused and Jared started to anxiously look around, hoping to find something that could allow him to help Jensen; finally he saw a forgotten beer bottle, half full, abandoned against the wall.  
  
He took it and slowly approached Jimbo from behind, while the man kicked Jensen's stomach repeatedly as he laid on the floor.  
  
One hit to the head was all it took for the gigantic man to fall, unconscious.  
Jared was next to Jensen in the blink of an eye, grabbing his arm.  
  
"Come on, we have to get out of here, _fast_.  
  
Jensen's head was in a haze and he probably had a concussion, but he still got up on wobbly legs and followed Jared to his car, which Jared drove home as fast as he could, without minding the traffic laws he was breaking in the process.

 

  
"Did you lose your fucking mind?! What were you thinking?!" Jared screamed, and Jensen tried to cover his ears: his head hurt. Jared didn't seem to pity him at all, as he flung Jensen's head back to take care of the bruises and cuts on his face. "Why did you have to do this, huh, Jensen? _Answer me_."  
  
When Jensen simply looked away, Jared got mad and grabbed his chin, forcing him to turn. "Don't you realize you're just an average working class man, who puts on his glasses, sits in a 4 by 4 cubicle and works in front of a computer every day?! You are not a hero and you have no experience in fighting whatsoever, that motherfucker could have _killed_ you, Jensen! He was _four times_ your size." Jared dropped the wads of gauze and the antiseptic cream and sat down in front of Jensen. "What were you trying to prove?!"  
  
Jensen kept silent, and Jared started feeling frustrated and guilty, because this man just saved his life and still he was shouting at him.  
  
He didn't know what else to do, though.  
  
Stinging tears pooled in his eyes, as he grabbed Jensen's shoulders and shook him. "Tell me what the need was that made you do all this!" He demanded, and finally Jensen sighed and looked at him.  
  
There was so much resolution and strength in his eyes that Jared stepped back.  
"You have been very quiet lately," Jensen said. "Only when we went to the theatre to see action movies you showed some interest. I knew that with the kind of life I lead, you'd never be able to experience anything you see on the screen, and that's why I wanted to take you out tonight." Jensen fidgeted and looked down at his hands. "Then I saw you in danger and I couldn't stand back to watch, Jared. I might only be _an average working class man_ , but I care about you. I would never be able to live with myself knowing I didn't protect you when you needed me. Besides," he offered Jared a small smile, "your father asked me to look after you, and that's exactly what I intend to do. I just want you to be happy, you know?"  
  
As soon as he heard those words, Jared stood up, so abruptly the chair dropped on the floor with a loud clatter. "Stop worrying about my happiness, dammit!" He exclaimed, tearing at his hair. "I _am_ happy, but you can't expect me to keep jumping up and down all the time! If I am quiet, it doesn't mean I'm not happy, and if I want something, like going out, for example, I will ask you for it!" Jared's face crumbled as tears started to flow. "You have already done enough for me, Jensen. Please, don't do so much that I am never going to be able to pay you back in my lifetime. I'm _begging_ you."  
  
Jared angrily dried his tears with the back of his hand and ran to his room, where he locked himself in.  
  
Jensen was left staring at the emptiness of his living room, a cold dreading feeling taking hold of his heart and Jared's sobs echoing in the night. "I was not doing you a favour, Jared," he whispered to himself. "I was just trying to love you. And love can never be paid back."

 

  
Jared didn't sleep at all, that night.  
  
He hadn't cried so much since when his perfect life had been shattered, and only when he started to calm down did he realize he could have lost Jensen, too.  
  
If there hadn't been a bottle in the alley, if he had been a little more drunk and Jimbo a little less sloppy-he would have been left alone.  
  
 _Again_.  
  
The thought only fueled his misery further.

 

  
As Jared prepared Jensen's lunch in the kitchen, he heard quick steps and then the entrance door slamming.  
  
He ran after Jensen, but once he got to the parking lot Jensen was already gone.  
Jared sighed and walked back, stopping in front of the door: a note was taped on it.  
  
 _I'M SORRY, JAY._

 

  
Jensen was trying to concentrate on his work, really, but there seemed to be nothing else he could focus on aside from Jared.  
  
He didn't hear Mike calling him until his friend slapped the back of his head.  
"What the-" he started to protest, but then he followed Mike's gaze and saw Jared standing at the entrance of his cubicle, a little flushed, with his yellow thermos in his hands.  
  
"You forgot your lunch" Jared said, giving him the thermos.  
  
"Thanks" Jensen muttered, taking it.  
  
The atmosphere was tense and awkward, and both of them looked like they wanted to be everywhere but there having this conversation.  
  
Eventually, Jared cleared his throat and offered him a small piece of paper.  
  
 _I'M SORRY TOO._  
  
Jensen stared at him, his mouth open, and Jared just couldn't take it anymore.  
He nodded at him and quickly walked away.  
  
"Jared, wait!" Jared turned towards Jensen. "I-er-there's a new movie playing at the theatre, would you maybe like to see it?" He asked.  
  
Jared smiled briefly. "I'll be ready when you get home."  
  
As soon as Jared was gone, Jensen started swaying across his cubicle, whistling some love song.  
  
Mike and Tom looked at each other, grinned and shook their heads.

 

  
Jared stomped inside the house, trembling with nervousness, bother, guilt and anger, and went straight to the kitchen.  
  
He took all the dishes, glasses and cutlery out, and instead of using the dishwasher, he dropped everything in the sink, starting to obsessively clean each and every piece like it was carrying the dirt of a thousand years.  
  
The strength he put into the task resulted in at least 2 plates and 4 glasses ending up broken.  
  
Once he was done with the kitchen, he started with the floor.

 

  
Even if he did everything he could think of (including washing the curtains and cleaning the carpets) Jared was still ready way before the time Jensen was supposed to come pick him up.  
  
As he sat on the floor against his bed, absent-mindedly petting Icarus, the sound of thunder broke the quiet and rain started pouring.  
  
Jared slowly stood up and went towards the balcony.  
  
In the noise of the drops hitting the walls and the grates, he could almost hear Dean's voice.  
  
 _Hey, Jarepartner. I told you you'd miss me, didn't I? Looks like Dean's magic really has worked on you._  
  
Closing his eyes, Jared stepped out, letting the rain wash over him, not caring about the clothes he was wearing or the fact that Jensen was going to be home soon.  
  
 _Remember what I told you when we first met: let every raindrop reach your heart, Jared._  
  
For the first time, Jared just wanted to listen.

 

  
When Jensen got home, Jared was nowhere to be found.  
  
He was going crazy; he looked everywhere, but still no trace of Jared, not even a clue to his whereabouts.  
  
He was standing in the parking lot, under the pouring rain, and his cellphone rang just as he was resolving to call the police and report Jared missing.  
  
It was Steve.  
  
"Jen, listen, your husband is here. He's asking for Dean."  
  
Jensen felt his heart break at those words, but simply swallowed and nodded.  
"I'm coming."

 

  
Dean found Jared sitting on a tire, soaking wet, with an intensely pained expression twisting his features.  
  
He immediately forgot about himself being soaking wet too.  
  
For a split second he wanted to run up to him and just hold him, consequences be damned, but he knew better.  
  
So he simply put on his sunglasses and his cocky attitude as he exclaimed, "Nice night, Jarepartner!" He winked at Jared. "I thought you had forgotten about me already; the lights and the _I love you_ must have scared you quite a bit."  
Jared just stared at him. "Forget about it," Dean added, shrugging, "it’s not worth losing sleep over, really." Jared kept staring, he didn't say a word and after a couple of minutes Dean started to feel uncomfortable. "Is there a problem, Jarepartner?" He asked then.  
  
Jared blinked, then narrowed his eyes. "How can you be so happy?" He hissed, "how can you love me without expecting love in return?" Jared looked at his lap. "Aren't you suffering? Don't you feel _pain_ to be so in love?"  
  
Dean took his sunglasses off and arched an eyebrow. "Pain? How can there be pain in God's gift to men, Jared?" He asked. Jared didn't answer. "And about expecting love in return," he went on, "if everyone loved only if the love was reciprocated, it would mean that love itself is quite a hypocritical feeling."  
Dean sighed and then sat next to Jared. "Look, it's as easy as this: I see God in you so I fell in love with you. You saw God in someone else and you fell in love with him."  
  
Jared snorted bitterly as he stood up, turning his back on Dean. "My life is not that simple, Dean. I don't see God in anyone. In fact, I'm doubting if I'm ever going to be able to see God again." Dean opened his mouth to speak but Jared kept talking. "I had shut all my doors to love. I had decided that I didn't want to suffer anymore, I didn't want to hurt anymore. I was sure I was done with it." He turned towards Dean. "And then _you_ came along, with all the laughter, the silliness, the brightness. You came along and declared you loved me. From you I learned what true love is: is a joy, and there's no pain in it." Jared looked at Dean with wide, lost eyes. "You awakened love in me once again, that capacity of loving I thought I had killed within me long ago. Why?" He hid his face in his hands. "Why did you have to come into my life, Dean? I am married."  
Dean could see Jared was doing his best to stop from breaking down in front of him, and his chest ached. He looked away. "Now answer a very simple question," Jared said, walking closer to him, despair plain on his face. "What do I do now?"  
  
Dean clenched his fists. "Run away with me."  
  
Jared's head snapped up. "If you're not happy with him," Dean added, "if you don't love him, then come along with me." He grabbed Jared's hands. "God doesn't give equal happiness to all of us, and that's not fair, which is why some of us have to snatch our share of happiness from him. You're entitled to do so too."  
  
Jared looked like he was about to crumble, and Dean couldn't allow it to happen.  
He lifted a trembling hand to Jared's face, and slowly caressed his cheek, as his other hand went around Jared's waist to pull him against Dean's body.  
Jared closed his eyes and threw himself at Dean, letting Dean hold him tightly.  
"I've seen too much unhappiness in my life, I can't handle the pain anymore," he whispered, his mouth lightly brushing Dean's collarbone as his body shook into sobs. "I want to be happy, I want to laugh, I want to live, I want to love again." Dean held him with all his strength, hiding his face in Jared's hair, waiting for the final blow. "Take me away, Dean. Please."  
  
Dean swallowed. "I promise that tomorrow, after the competition, everything will change."

 

 

_TBC..._


	9. 08 - Are those stars or tears in your eyes?

  
Jensen sat in one of the salon's chairs, waiting for Chris to say something.  
However, his friend seemed to be stunned into silence. "You were right, Chris. In the end, I lost."  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Chris spat.  
  
Jensen shrugged. "I had set out to make Jared happy and to get my love story, but the bottom line is that it has become the end of me."  
  
Chris slapped him. "You idiot, I just don't understand why you're not walking up to him to tell him the truth!"  
  
Jensen smiled softly. "Try to follow me, man. He's _married_ to me, but he threw himself into Dean's arms without a doubt. He's ready to run away with him and never turn back and that's not Jared. If he got to this point-" He had to breathe deeply in order to avoid for his voice to crack. "If he got to this point, how unhappy must he be? Just-think about it for a second." Chris looked taken aback. "Let's face it: Jared doesn't love me, and he's not happy with me. So, isn't it my duty to set him free? To give him a shot at pursuing the life he'd have had if God and fate didn't toy with him this cruelly?" Jensen rubbed the back of his neck. "He deserves a chance of finding his Dean somewhere."  
  
"Fuck you, Jensen!" Chris exclaimed, shaking him. "No other Dean will have your heart and Jared has fallen in love with that heart, don't you get it?"  
  
Jensen shook his head sadly. "No, Chris. If he had really fallen in love with my heart, he would have find it even behind a different face. He would have recognized my love despite all my efforts to hide it."  
  
Chris clenched his fists, but realized there was nothing he could say or do to make Jensen change his mind. "It's so unfair," he hissed, punching the wall.  
  
Jensen stood up. "I have decided. Tomorrow, after the competition, I will be gone."  
  
Chris turned abruptly. "What?! Have you gone mad?!"  
  
Jensen nodded. "Maybe. Anyway, I've already put both the house and my bank account in Jared's name, and I've filled in the divorce papers."  
  
Chris opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, then he narrowed his eyes.  
"You know what? Fine. I'm going to tell him everything."  
  
Before he could move a single step, though, Jensen grabbed his arm. "You can't do that. Do you remember what you told me? You told me that it was God who was writing this love story. Now it's time to leave the end of it to him."  
  
Chris lowered his head, defeated. "What are you going to do, then?" He asked.  
  
Jensen's smile grew a little brighter. "I'm going to apply for an intership in the Montreal investigation centre. I've always wanted to keep working in Biology and Chemistry, you know, but something stopped me every single time. Now..."  
He opened his arms wide. "Now I've got nothing to lose. It's the perfect moment."  
  
Chris just grabbed him and crushed him in a bear hug, hoping with all his heart that his best friend was doing the right thing.

 

  
Jared wasn't sure why he was standing in front of the chapel he visited with Dean on his birthday.  
  
After all, he was about to break his wedding vows, so there was no way God was going to grant his blessing to either his escape or his performance at the competition.  
  
Still, he felt like he had to try, at least beg for his forgiveness and hope that it was going to be enough.  
  
He entered, walking slowly along the nave like he did on the day of his wedding with Jensen.  
  
He could still remember how heavy each of his steps felt; the closer he got to the altar, the clearer he could see that the man waiting for him was not Chad.  
And yeah, both him and Chad went into the wedding with their heads clear: they loved each other, but they weren't _in_ love.  
  
Still, they knew each other better than anyone else, and they were sure that the other was always going to be there.  
  
They had each other's backs, and they thought that was ground enough to plan a life together.  
  
Now, though, after all that had happened, Jared was not so sure about that anymore.  
  
He kneeled down in front of the altar, he closed his eyes and then silently lifted his hands.  
  
 _He says that he sees God in me, but I'm nothing like you, so I don't really understand how that’s possible_ he prayed. _Please, I want to be able to see you too. Show me. Give me a sign._  
  
After a few minutes of concentration during which he tried to sort out his mind, Jared turned and stood back up before he slowly opened his eyes.  
  
The light made him dizzy, and everything looked blurry, for a moment, before he realized the door to the chapel was open.  
  
As his eyes got used to the light, some blurry figure started getting closer and closer until Jared recognized him.  
  
It was Jensen, with a surprised and concerned expression on his face.  
  
That's when Jared finally understood it, as Jensen walked towards him. Jensen asked no questions, and gave him everything he had and was, right from the start. He never said a word or judged him, while Jared struggled with trying to find some kind of balance between his old life and the new one he had been thrown into: he just kept giving it all with a smile.  
  
He had always been kind and warm, he had sheltered and protected Jared; his strength and generosity never faded.  
  
He was Jared's, and Jared never fully realized it before.  
  
And even if he might have been confused about a lot of things, including himself, his only certainty, constant as the sun above, had always been Jensen.  
  
 _So this is what **seeing God** means,_ he thought. _People like Jensen, so pure and bright that everything pales in comparison, are God's masterpiece. And being able to share a part of our life with them is a blessing in itself._  
  
Jared felt like bowing his head in front of Jensen, conscious now that he didn't deserve him, but Jensen just smiled at him, relieved.

 

  
As Jensen approached the chapel's doors, his mind was already focused on praying.  
  
 _Please, God, let my Jared be happy wherever and with whomever he may be. I don't want anything else from you._  
  
The last thing he expected was to see Jared standing in the middle of the chapel; the surprise subsided as he remembered he took him there on his birthday.  
  
A pang of regret ran through him as he remembered the day which had screwed his life over.  
  
Again.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Jared asked, snapping him out of his reverie.  
  
Jensen blushed slightly.  
  
"This is my favourite place to think," he answered.  
  
"I've been worried about you," Jensen added, after a moment.  
  
"Weren't we supposed to go to the movies yesterday?"  
  
Jared looked remorseful.  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that. I-I got caught up at the gym, you know, last minute details? When I got home, you were already asleep."  
  
Jensen nodded.  
  
"No problem, we can go another day" he said, knowing perfectly well that they would never have the chance.

 

  
The music was pumping as one couple after the other danced on the stage. Once Zac and Corbin got on, the clapping was almost deafening.  
  
Damn, the fuckers were _good_.  
  
Jared poked Dean in the side.  
  
"Can I talk to you?" he asked.  
  
Dean blinked.  
  
"Jarepartner, we're next!" he pointed out, but Jared didn't waver.  
  
"Please?"  
  
Dean sighed and followed him outside, crossing his amrs on his chest and still looking towards the building.  
  
Jared fidgeted for a moment, then breathed deeply and looked at Dean, resolute. “I can't come with you, Dean," he said.  
  
Dean's head snapped up and he stared at Jared, his mouth hanging open.  
  
"For some time your love has made me weak and selfish," he explained. "I had forgotten how he held my hand when I was all alone, how he kept getting closer every time I pushed him away; now I'm the one who can't leave his hand."  
  
Dean's eyes got wider with every word Jared pronounced and he didn't seem able to say anything, so Jared continued.  
  
"He is a little boring, and he doesn't speak much," he said, chuckling a little.  
"He looks very simple in his ways, in his work; maybe to you, to everyone else, he's just a common ordinary man, but-"  
  
Jared's eyes were soft and warm, and Dean felt like he couldn't breathe as the most tender smile he had ever seen appeared on Jared's face. "Dean, I see God in him. I finally understood what you meant."  
  
Dean's eyes filled with tears, just as Jared's.  
  
"It would have been possible for me to leave a man, but how am I supposed to leave God? Wherever I may run to, God will be present, and wherever there is God, he will be there."  
  
Jared was trembling when he stepped back.  
  
"Being with you would be easier," he admitted "I know how you love, I know what you want and why you do. Jensen-I never gave him a chance to tell me. I don't even know if he does love me or if he could learn to, and maybe he won't and I'll be confined into an unrequited love forever...but I have to fight for him, just as he fought for me all along."  
  
Jared shook his head, as Dean kept staring at him, stunned.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dean," he whispered, "please, forgive me."  
  
And with these words, he left him alone, walking back into the building. Dean made a sound that was something in between a laugh and a whimper and hid his face in his hands, letting the tears run freely.

 

  
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, was couple number nine!" Danneel exclaimed, walking on the stage.  
"Now, you all must be wanting to know who the couple number ten is: coming in front of you to show off their scintillating performance is the last couple of the competition. Let's hear it for Jared Padalecki and Dean Winchester!"  
  
The audience clapped, but only Jared came on the stage; he got closer to Danneel and whispered something in her ear.  
  
Danneel blinked.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Jared nodded.  
  
Suddenly, the audience laughed loudly.  
  
Jared turned and found himself looking at his husband, in his usual office suit. Nothing was missing, the priestine shirt, the dress pants, the polished shoes.  
Jared stared at him in shock, unable to process what the hell was Jensen doing on the stage with him.  
  
The audience kept laughing, probably finding the presence of an office worker in a dance competition ridiculous.  
  
Jensen stepped closer, until he was in front of Jared, who's forrowed brow showed how confused he was.  
  
Jensen just smiled reassuringly at him and then, out of the blue, he assumed Dean's starting position.  
  
Jared was hit by a sudden thought, but he dismissed it.  
  
 _Come on, Jared, that's **impossible**. Don't fool yourself._ Still, the position was perfect, and Jensen was arching an eyebrow at him, his arm extended towards Jared.  
  
As soon as Jared's palms touched Jensen's, the music started and the young man was pulled into the familiar routine, while one after the other, images of Dean and Jensen started flashing behind his eyelids.

 

  
  
_"What if we swung our hips? Like a tidal wave or something?" Dean suggested, blushing a little._  
  
 _I'll be late every night. I am doing overtime at the office._  
  
Left leg in, right leg out.  
  
 _ _"It's raining, you'll get wet: come on, I'll drop you home."  
__

 

_  
"Sorry I'm late" he muttered, blowing his nose "I had some trouble with the car. I also had to change a tire under the rain, which is-" another sneeze got in the way, but Jared nodded, understanding that the tire was the reason why Jensen's clothes were wet._  
  
A figure-eight in the air.  
  
 _ _Dean beamed at him, stuffed his face with his last one and then stood on the table.  
  
"I'm the fucking king!" he shouted.  
__

 

_  
  
"You don't like it? I could cook you something else..." "It's fantastic, Jared, really! Sorry, I was just distracted."_  
  
Arms flicking to the tune, like the hands of a clock.  
  
 _ _"How's your partner, what's his name?"  
__

 

_  
"His name is Jensen Ackles and he works for Vancouver power."_  
  
A hand thrown up, shaking it like ringing a bell.  
  
 _Thanks for taking a chance on dancing with me."_  
  
 _"It's true love, Jared, I swear to God."_  
  
The other hand shook below, like a kite tugged to make it soar.  
  
 _Jensen moving into the guest room. Jensen selling his beloved bike so that Jared didn't have to force his knees to get on it. Jensen fighting with Jimbo in order to protect Jared._  
  
 _Dean knowing about Jared's pain. Dean understanding him. Dean flirting like someone who has never done it before._  
  
Mirrored gestures.  
  
 _"Look, it's as easy as this: I see God in you so I fell in love with you. You saw God in someone else and you fell in love with him."_  
  
Hips swaying and swinging as the music ends.

 

  
Jared was so lost into Jensen's eyes (which were Dean's eyes, he could see that now) that none of them realized their performance was over until the whole room exploded in a roaring applause.  
  
The curtain fell on them, and only once they were hidden behind it Jensen let Jared go, breaking the final position.  
  
He coughed nervously, his eyes shifting and focusing on anything but Jared, who was still staring at him.  
  
"Lies," was the first word Jared said, and Jensen felt his stomach clench.  
"No, Jared, listen, I-"  
  
"All _lies_ ," Jared added, his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Please, Jared-"  
  
"You lied to me, when you said that you didn't know what love is."  
  
Jared's words interrupted Jensen's apology, and Jensen looked at hm, surprised. On Jared's face was appearing, slowly, the same tender smile that took Jensen's breath away a little before.  
  
"All lies," he repeated.  
  
"How could you so easily turn all my sadness into joy, all my tears into laughter, all my misery into bliss and not knowing what you were doing?" Jensen was stunned into silence once more by the intensity of Jared's gaze. "I didn't give you a single drop of love, and still you kept showering me with yours."  
  
A single tear ran down Jared's cheek, but none of them dried it away; it was the first tear that wasn't going to hurt either of them.  
  
"How can you love me so much?" Jared asked in a whisper.  
  
"I see God in you," Jensen answered, his voice hoarse and filled with emotion.  
"When I pray my heart feels solace," he explained "and when I see you happy, I feel the same solace. Maybe even more."  
  
Jared closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Jensen, as Jensen held him, repeating his name over and over again in between soft kisses.  
  
When they finally stepped back, breathing heavily, Jensen saw Jared's wet face.  
"What's this? Please, don't cry. I don't want to see you cry ever again."  
  
Jared smiled softly.  
  
"Pot to the kettle," he retorted, and only then Jensen realized he was crying as well.  
  
As they held each other once again and Jensen carded his fingers through Jared's hair, a sudden thought came to him.  
  
"Do you think that God will be angry with me for loving you more than Him?" he whispered, and Jared chuckled.  
  
"No, he won't. I will be the angry one, however, if we don't get home right now. We didn't have our wedding night yet, you know."  
  
Jensen blushed furiously.  
  
"But-what about the competition? They're probably about to announce the winner..." he objected.  
  
Jared shrugged.  
  
"My prize is waiting for me at home" he said, and Jensen couldn't really argue with his logic.  
  
As they walked towards the car, holding hands, Jensen asked Jared if he felt like driving.   
  
He had an important text to send.

 

  
Chris was entering the building where the competition was held, deciding not to let his best friend do the stupidest thing ever, when his phone vibrated in his pocket.  
  
He took it out and stopped cold in the middle of the hall when he had read it.  
  
 _I told him. He loves ME. We're going home. I know you're at the competition right now, so congratulate the winners and don't you dare calling or dropping by before tomorrow afternoon at least._  
  
Chris whooped out loud, and just as he opened the door Danneel's voice came through the speakers.  
  
"And so, ladies and gentlemen, Vancouver's dancing couple number one is the one formed by Jared Padalecki and Dean Winchester!"  
  
Everyone started cheering and Chris shook his head.  
  
"Son of a bitch" he muttered "he gets both the guy AND the trophy."  
  
He started writing an answer, then he thought about it again and just told Jensen he _was_ going to drop by the following afternoon and they would have better open the door when he did.  
  
He was going to tell them then.  
  
"That's not all!" Danneel added, as the room turned silent to listen. "As I announced a while back, the winning couple is going to get a special prize: they will become the main dancing teachers of this school, and they’ll also check of 50,000 dollars! So, where are my winners? Jared Padalecki and Dean Winchester, come on up!"  
  
Chris approached the stage and motioned for Danneel to get closer.  
  
As she did, he thought about Jared being able to do what he loved the most forever and Jensen with the money he needed to get into that investigation project of his, and felt the happiest one on the planet.  
  
Ok, maybe the third happiest.  
  
"They had a family emergency, so they had to split," he told Danneel as soon as she got next to him, "they'll be back tomorrow to collect the winning and the trophy."  
  
Danneel looked puzzled, but nodded nonetheless.  
  
She was about to stand up and go on the stage again when Chris grabbed her arm.  
"By the way" he added, grinning "their names are Jared and Jensen Ackles-Padalecki."  
  


**THE BEGINNING**


	10. Thanks, Music & Art

 

 **MIX TITLE:** YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A STEP a [_Take a chance on dance_](http://trinipedia.livejournal.com/54729.html) fanmix  
**MIX MADE BY:** yours truly [](http://trinipedia.livejournal.com/profile)[trinipedia](http://trinipedia.livejournal.com/)

 

**JENSEN**

Lynyrd Skynyrd ["Simple man"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144990479/a8102bbc/01_-_Lynyrd_Skynyrd_-_Simple_Man.html)  
Sydney Forest ["Once in a blue moon"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144990664/cc3eb22e/02_-_Sydney_Forrest_-_Once_in_a_blue_moon.html)  
Dream Theater ["Another day"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144990914/882363d4/03_-_Dream_Theater_-_Another_day.html)  
The Perishers ["Come out of the shade"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144991191/863f2b8e/04_-_The_Perishers_-_Come_out_of_the_shade.html)  
Sebastian Mego ["Where do I go from here"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144991361/223e32f/05_-_Sebastian_Mego_-_Where_do_I_go_from_here.html)  
Kate Alexa ["In your eyes"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144991540/439fcd89/06_-_Kate_Alexa_-_In_Your_Eyes.html)

 

**JARED**

Avril Lavigne ["Innocence"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144991848/459cd6e8/07_-_Avril_Lavigne_-_Innocence.html)  
Petra ["No doubt"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144992104/3522cba6/08_-_Petra_-_No_Doubt.html)  
Celine Dion ["Right in front of you"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144992397/7e6df53b/09_-_Celine_Dion_-_Right_In_Front_Of_You.html)  
Celtic Woman ["You raise me up"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144992989/8d596cab/10_-_Celtic_Woman_-_You_raise_me_up.html)  
Marc Anthony ["You sang to me"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144993302/6779dd98/11_-_Marc_Anthony_-_You_Sang_To_Me.html)  
Trisha Yearwood ["You're where I belong"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144993670/c0fde898/12_-_Trisha_Yearwood_-_Youre_Where_I_Belong.html)

 

**DEAN**

DQ ["Champagne"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144993839/d7d3b832/13_-_DQ_-_Champagne.html)  
The Saturdays ["If this is love"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144994041/58dcfc6/14_-_The_Saturdays_-_If_This_Is_Love.html)  
Queentastic ["Absolutely fabulous"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144994191/b1e1dbbc/15_-_Queentastic_-_Absolutely_Fabulous.html)  
Sophie Ellis-Bextor ["Yes sir I can boogie"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144994723/b8961fe9/16_-_Sophie_Ellis-Bextor_-_Yes_Sir_I_Can_Boogie.html)  
Alesha Dixon ["The boy does nothing"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144994926/c262c66c/17_-_Alesha_Dixon_-_The_Boy_Does_Nothing.html)  
The Blood Arm ["Suspicious character"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144995537/1dd859ba/18_-_The_Blood_Arm_-_Suspicious_Character.html)

 

**J2**

Flux ["Something to believe in"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144995944/c28a67a3/19_-_Flux_-_Something_to_believe_in.html)  
Corbin Bleu & Vanessa Hudgens ["Still there for me"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144996227/1339d190/20_-_Corbin_Bleu_-_Still_There_For_Me__ft_Vanessa_Hudgens_.html)

 

**BONUS TRACK**

RBJ ["Dancing Jodi"](http://www.4shared.com/file/144996642/32002a45/21_-_RBJ_-_Dancing_Jodi__Instrumental_.html)

 

[**FANMIX DOWNLOAD LINK** ](http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VT486H19)

 

*****

 

Ok, so.  
Thanks.  
I think the word's not nearly enough; there would have been no fic, no story, no challenge without the help and unrelenting support of those of you who read, commented and got me through this nightmare.  
From the top of my head, I'd like to thank [](http://free-pirate.livejournal.com/profile)[free_pirate](http://free-pirate.livejournal.com/), [](http://chica-charlie.livejournal.com/profile)[chica_charlie](http://chica-charlie.livejournal.com/), eledh3, [](http://eryslash.livejournal.com/profile)[eryslash](http://eryslash.livejournal.com/), [](http://kros-21.livejournal.com/profile)[kros_21](http://kros-21.livejournal.com/), [](http://sarabakanashimi.livejournal.com/profile)[sarabakanashimi](http://sarabakanashimi.livejournal.com/) (she doesn't like the pairing and is not even into the fandom, but still she listened and I'm so insanely grateful), [](http://burned-phoenix.livejournal.com/profile)[burned_phoenix](http://burned-phoenix.livejournal.com/) and [](http://germanji.livejournal.com/profile)[germanji](http://germanji.livejournal.com/), but this list is not even remotely exhaustive.  
Also, I wouldn't have posted if the ever so awesome lightthesparks didn't gift me with the stunning art you've been able to appreciate while reading, so. Thanks to her for getting the fic posted after all!  
  
All of my flist has been awesome, they never bitched at me when this fic was the only thing I could talk or think about it, they never let me down and I'm so, so grateful.

For all of you, amazing people, a special token of my appreciation.

Mario Frangoulis ["Dance"](http://www.4shared.com/file/145129714/c241b99c/Mario_Frangoulis_-_Dance.html)

 _I see those vulnerable eyes, they're as deep as the darkest of oceans; I sense the loneliest heart, holding back your fragile emotions._  
I feel you wanna let go, inside of my arms; just know you're safe with me.  
Let's dance like there's nobody watching, and sing as if no one is listening to what you're hearing;  
Love like you've never been hurt before, try to forget if you can, and just dance.  
I've known the coldest of nights, I laid awake, trying to stop myself dreaming; there, in the emptiest space in my head, the music stopped playing.  
Right now, all I wanna do is lose myself in you and me; just be.  
Why don't we dance and pretend we know how to fly?  
Like we've never been scared of heights, no fear of falling?  
Why don't we love like we've never been hurt before, forget where our feet will land and just dance?

**Author's Note:**

>  **Not Coming Down From::** [Couch](http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Couch)  
>  **Clawed Chained Heart::** dorky  
>  **Under The Spell Of::** "You've got yourself a step" TACOD fanmix.


End file.
